From the Vault Mind Body Way
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Casey: [00:00:00] Hi there, it's Casey here. Just popping in quick to let you know that this podcast episode is from the PurposeMap Podcast Vault. So it was recorded in the past and we're bringing it back around to you now because, I don't know, I just have a little sense that it might be relevant to you in this moment.
Right now, of course, these podcast episodes are, in essence, timeless. The only thing that might be timely in them when they were first recorded is an offer that was in alignment at that time. So please, if there's any mention of an offer in this episode, please Let it go. What we'd love for you to do if you want to take things a step further is actually book a get to know you call with me or a member of our team.
It's really important to us that we know you and know your story and have an opportunity to engage with you. So there's a link in the show notes or a couple links in the show notes for you to book a call with [00:01:00] me or a member of our team. We just love that you're here. So enjoy this episode. I trust that whether it's the first time listening or the 10th time you'll receive some bit of wisdom that can guide you to acting in alignment with who you really are and what you're really here for.
I so appreciate you being here and can't wait to check in with you at the end. I am joined in this episode again by Dr. Julie Bolak and Courtney Amo, my two beautiful, amazing, wonderful coauthors of MindBodyWay. In this episode, we talk about the content of the book, how you as a leader can become more embodied, and how that will really support you with being more resilient and connected, purpose driven, loving, etc.
So we take you into the six pillars of the book and guide you. Into the why. Why are these pillars important? How can they impact you? And what outcomes and results can [00:02:00] embodying these pillars create for you and the people that you serve? So let's jump right in. So early on, we decided on some core pillars of the embodied leader process.
And it's interesting to me how we really didn't waver from those pillars, really, since we decided on them, we, we really decided quickly and then grounded in and, and wrote about them. Um, so yeah, Julie, do you want to speak about the pillars in particular of the embodied leader? Pathway or the mind body way.
Yeah,
Julie: it is. It's striking to me thinking back about the early phases of our writing and how there were just these natural, um, key concepts that emerged both from our interviews with leaders on embodiment and leadership on our review of the [00:03:00] literature and of our own sort of personal journeys, and we very quickly came up with.
These six key pillars for embodied leadership, and it was this natural flow of where we might want to focus on initially in terms of really the initial pathway of becoming a more embodied leadership that would then develop into, um, the next date steps or phases of embodied leadership. I'm not sure what would be most useful in terms of going through them, like, Just naming them, or?
Casey: Yeah, well, maybe, maybe to start also, we had conversations about who this book is really for, and, and maybe that's a place to start, that this book is for the leader who has had some sort of, you know, Shift change awakening that has brought about a call to do things differently. So whether that leader has had a health issue, has experienced some level of exhaustion or burnout, has [00:04:00] lost a loved one or gone through a breakup or a divorce or some sort of change in a relationship or lost their job, you know, anything can happen, but I think that there's this common path where we're sort of like living and leading on autopilot, doing what we think we should do.
And then something happens. And so we wrote this book for the leader who has experienced a need for change, and it's meant to be an accessible guide where we are bringing embodiment to those leaders as a gateway to find a more fulfilling way to work more fulfilling and connected way to lead, you know, right in our work.
Our title, the subtitle is the embodied leaders path to resilience, connection and purpose. And so those are some really key outcomes that we wanted that we want you as, as a reader to walk away with is like, how can you through embodiment experience more resilience through understanding self regulation and co regulation of your nervous system?
How can you become more connected and [00:05:00] collaborative with others? And how can you also find a deeper sense of purpose and trust through Your working world, Courtney mentioned in the last episode, that work can be a platform for personal and professional growth and that there's a difference between just like working together and actually collaborating.
So this book is for you. If you're a leader, who's ready to lead in a different way. And, um, and it's kind of from that framing, like, what do we really want our reader to achieve that these pillars came to be? Um, and so I think, I think it is worth maybe even just like one at a time going through each pillar and sharing a little bit more about it and why we think that it's a really important part of the process towards embodied leadership, um, Does that help Julie?
I think
Julie: that's a great jumping off point. It was an immediate, um, [00:06:00] yes to what, where we needed to start. And that is with really building body awareness and compassion. I know in the work I do with, with clients and in my own personal journey, when we're not connected to being able to even identify what's showing up at a body level for ourselves, it's.
It's really difficult to connect with others, to do that collaborative work, to have a sense of purpose or connection to, to really our lives. And so starting with more of that body based awareness and how we can respond to ourselves more compassionately. So it's not about getting rid of a self critical thought, or I know lots of people, most of us struggle from time to time with this idea of like, you know, Feeling like an imposter, um, I'm not good enough or somehow, um, yeah, you know, my job title says this, or I play this role in my life, but I don't really deserve it.
And then, you know, someone's going to [00:07:00] find me out. So starting from a place to what is, you know, showing up inside of you and, and being able to really tap in as a foundation to use that wisdom to then respond in different ways. And it doesn't mean we always. Um, take, um, our body signals as the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but that we can use it as information and, and check in.
Is there something here that is worth checking out or doing something about? And then how can I respond to myself in a caring way, not to let myself off the hook or just go, Oh, you're perfect. You're amazing. You're great. But rather. To go, okay, you know, how can I come from a place of kindness to maybe motivate myself to show up differently in a, in a more, um, empathic way with my team or my colleagues, or, you know, get up earlier, um, to [00:08:00] meditate before work or go for a walk, do whatever goals or things you're wanting to work on rather than from a place of self criticism.
So that first pillar is a foundation. Find it really. Difficult if not impossible to to go along any sort of path of growth without first connecting more to building that awareness of the body and responding more compassionately rather than self critically or judgmentally.
Casey: I really love that you use the term like it's not about letting yourself off the hook, but responding in a caring way.
I feel like that's worth kind of mentioning again, because I do feel like people see self compassion as like, Oh, I'm just gonna swing the pendulum and do whatever the heck I want, but it's actually not. Like deeply caring or deeply nourishing, but in order to determine what's deeply [00:09:00] caring and deeply nourishing body awareness is key because it's like underneath those body sensations is the truth.
So I love how you describe that. They're, um, Sorry, go ahead. Thanks for highlighting that. Yeah, I just I I'm still just like learning so much from the two of you. It's it's insane. I love it so much Courtney what would you say about pillar two?
Courtney: Well, tying into what Julie just said around the the foundation Of awareness and compassion as being necessary for this path.
I think to have that awareness and compassion We also need to to understand a little bit about the inner workings You And so we wanted to write, um, around the nervous system, around the mind body connection, [00:10:00] around topics and themes like polyvagal theory, in a way that was going to be really easy to understand and connect to.
Because if you don't know how this is all working inside of you, You can have compassion for it, but you don't necessarily have the understanding or the tools to be able to take action. So we really wanted to make sure that the reader had, had just enough of this information without getting into a whole lot of technical details so that they felt first compassion for themselves.
Like when I feel My nervous system getting over activated over stimulated. I can have compassion for that and know that I [00:11:00] also have the capacity to bring myself back into regulation or to reach out to someone else to help bring me back through co regulation. And I know that I can do that because I understand what's going on.
Julie: Can I add a point there, Court, that I think really resonates for a lot of people is we don't. Choose our body's response to stress. It's a biologically driven way that our body just responds to things that it perceives as a threat. And so you can tell yourself, there's nothing to worry about here. And, you know, the more primitive part of our brain just goes into high alert, danger, danger.
And so this pillar really gets at that. That's what polyvagal theory is all about. It's just an updated model of stress.
Casey: The listener cannot see the video right now, but as Julie [00:12:00] was describing, like, you can't tell yourself that you're not stressed. She's tapping her fingertips on her forehead or the prefrontal cortex, like the part of the brain.
So she's actually like in an embodied way, describing this to us by tapping different parts of the head and the brain, which in the book, we have some diagrams that help you to understand like which parts of the brain are activated in these different moments or what their functions are that helps to support the understanding of of polyvagal theory, which I don't know, it's been a game changer for me, knowing how the nervous system works.
And it helps with, you know, these, these pillars sort of like layer on to one another, because the more understanding I've had of How my nervous system works, the easier it is for me to be compassionate that this is a biologically driven response that I'm experiencing.
Julie: Yeah, yeah,
Casey: right out on that's pillar two.
Julie: What about pillar three case? Do you want to take that
Casey: one? [00:13:00] Yeah. Yeah, for some reason, I just keep thinking of like Andrew's story and pillar two. So dear listener, we tell, we tell people's stories through composite characters. We interviewed a whole bunch of people, um, a whole bunch of leaders and ask them questions about embodiment and leadership and their challenges, et cetera.
And then we created these characters out of those interviews. And so there's one character that Who's story we share in each pillar. And so, yeah, I'm, uh, I'm just have these characters coming to mind as we start to talk about the pillars. So you meet, um, you meet Carrie and pillar one and you meet Andrew and pillar two.
And in pillar three, you meet Melissa. So, um, pillar three is about taking risks and practicing courage. And again, like these pillars all build on one another. So this is really about how, how attuning to how our body feels when we're scared can actually help us with being more innovative and taking the risks that are necessary for growth, [00:14:00] both personally, but also leadership spaces.
Of course, you know, I'm just speaking for myself as an entrepreneur. Like every day I'm taking risks every day. I'm creating something from nothing. And especially given the work, even just any work around embodiment, it's still relatively new. And so it's like risky, even sharing messages about embodiment and trying to like weave embodiment leadership together.
And so pillar three is really about how can this attunement to the body. Support you with creating space for the discomfort that's naturally going to be there when risk taking happens, and especially as a follow up to what you learn in pillar two about nervous system regulation, it helps you with discovering your own sort of nuanced sense of what is system.
Appropriate, like, how safe do you need to feel in your nervous system to feel like regulated and integrated, but also how can you be with [00:15:00] maybe stretching yourself and stretching your we call it your window of resilience built off of Dr. Dan Siegel's window of tolerance. How can you stretch? In order to grow, how can you practice taking risks and practice courage in order to continue to expand?
And, um, as you can probably hear, like, it's all about coming back to the body. This whole book is about coming back to the body, bringing the body on board, seeing the mind body as one whole integrated system. So. Uh, taking risks really starts with the foundation of being able to be with discomfort and not being super reactive to it, but actually, like, allowing yourself to be conscious and intentional and thoughtful about.
Next steps that you might want to take in the name of growth and also where it might be useful to not take risks and practice courage and actually choose playing it safe because that's helpful for us to in certain moments. [00:16:00]
Julie: I love that you. Distinguished between when, when it might actually be wise or useful.
And I think that's one of the underlying themes across the book is there is not one right or wrong action or way of being it's really about tuning in and acting with intentionality. So sometimes, you know, Disconnecting or not showing up, um, putting up some walls to hide vulnerability might be very workable, but when we do that as our default, um, time and time again, it doesn't allow us to, to connect in our lives to show up in a way that brings meaning and, um, deepening connections.
Which I think leads to pillar four. All about consciously connecting with yourself and [00:17:00] others. So this pillar is, um, one that speaks to the different cues in our relationships and in ourselves that, um, let us know that it's safe or not safe. Everything from attachment theory. So again, we're really Um, brief overview and how we can identify our own attachment patterns in relationships, including in work leadership relationships that may be getting in the way and how we might consciously, um, grow more secure attachment in our, in our relationships.
I can speak for myself working with the two of you. It was a very healing, securely attached collaborative relationship that we had. Um, and yeah, there. You know, there is not, our attachment style or pattern is not set in stone. So we're often given messages in society that, oh, you are this, you're that, [00:18:00] and, you know, that's just how it's going to be, that's part of your personality, and we don't purport that at all, so it's about what can you do, how can you, Really grow and plant the seeds in your both internal environment and your external, you know, social and physical environments to support, um, connection, everything from who you spend time around.
I know we probably all have that experience of initially meeting someone and just getting like the hair on your arms or something stands up. Like you just don't feel. safe, or like you can trust that person. There's a sense of maybe unease in the pit of your stomach. And in polyvagal theory terms, we might call that neuroception of danger.
So it's like that spidey sense of, Ooh, be careful here. And so really tuning in and, and paying attention to those cues, which you've learned in the earlier pillars, and then using [00:19:00] those to Really bring on board, um, connections in your life, people in your life, connecting and leaning into the places in your life where there is more of a sense of security and safety and possibility for real, authentic attachment.
Um, and through that process, another theme that is pivotal is that of. Boundaries, um, the past few years with, with everything that's gone on, not that this wasn't important before, but with so many more of us working, you know, telework or remote work, boundaries have become a popular theme. So how can you create some sort of healthy boundary between work and personal life and that sort of thing?
Um, but boundaries go much, much deeper. Beyond that. So how can we really support ourselves with, um, healthy boundaries and, you know, with ourselves, but also with our [00:20:00] community of people. Um, so yeah, this is consciously connecting with, with yourself and others, pillar four,
Courtney: anything more, either of you would add to that. Well, maybe I can pick. From what you just said, uh, Julie, to bring us to pillar five, um, tying in this idea of boundaries to the notion of, of trust and connecting and integrating to our own body wisdom. And so, I don't know that I've always had, I know that I haven't always had really good boundaries.
I know that by not having good boundaries, I've taught other people how it was okay to interact with me. Thank you. Even if it wasn't okay, even if my body was not on board with that, that [00:21:00] kind of interaction or that kind of connection. And so in pillar four, we tie boundaries to leadership and call on leaders to create safe spaces by being really clear on what is acceptable and unacceptable, really clear about where things start and, and end.
And when people know what the rules of engagement are, they feel more trusting and more comfortable in those types of environments. And so in pillar five, when we dig into trust and integration. We're starting to, to really, I think, bring together all of the elements of the book, um, in support of that trust.
And so, in that pillar, we start to talk about what trust actually is, and how trust isn't just something in our minds, it's not [00:22:00] just a way that we think about other people or about ourselves, it's, it's something that we sense in our bodies. And by that point, we've talked so much about how to connect with your body's signals that hopefully the reader starts to understand what those signals of trust look like for them.
And to Julie's point, there's no one way of being
Julie: here.
Courtney: How trust feels like in my body is going to be different from how trust feels like in your body. And that's perfectly fine. It's, it's just being able to tap into that to understand. And we talk about the responsibility of the leader in creating these environments where trust can flourish, because if we don't have that trust, um, it's, it's difficult to get things done together.
When we get to this notion of, um, of integrating body wisdom, I'll maybe hand it to you, [00:23:00] Casey, because you bring some of your, the, the, the work that you've developed through your coaching of leaders. Uh, to that so how they can tap into their bodies and actually get clear signals. From their bodies on, on what they can, uh, what they can do next, what their next step might be.
Do you want to speak a little bit more? Sure.
Casey: Yeah. Yeah. And I think it, of course, we're experiencing a flow in this conversation right now that beautifully ties into pillar six, of course. Um, so yeah, Courtney, you've really been talking about trust, uh, interpersonal trust in a way, and I think that's really important.
And of course, there's this intra personal like trust of self trust of body sensation, trust of the wisdom that comes from those sensations. And so when it comes to like integrating body wisdom, one of the tools that I that was developed through creating my TED talk and that I use with clients and is in the book, specifically [00:24:00] In this pillar is the body acronym exercise, so B stands for breathe, O is observe, meaning observing physical sensations or an inner experience, D is delay, don't fix it, just feel it.
And wait for wisdom to be revealed from those sensations around what you might need. And then why is about saying yes to that. So evidence builds confidence. And so when it comes to like self trust, the more that we can attune to our body's wisdom and mind that sensation for for an action step, even, and then act in alignment and receive sort of the relief or the satisfaction of acting in alignment, more confidence builds from the evidence that it's safe to trust, if that makes sense.
And so it's a very like integrative process to, to tune into that body wisdom to [00:25:00] receive, um, Even action steps like on a simple level body is saying I'm cold and the action is put a sweater on me. And then you do that and it's like, Oh, I feel warm now. Great. That's evidence that you could trust the body's wisdom that said it was cold.
So, um, This process of like inner trust and integrating that wisdom and creating then safe spaces where trust can exist between people and there can be a way to support each other with integrating, like, that's all an important part of the embodied leader path and. Pillar six of, uh, the mind body way is about finding purpose and contribution.
And so we believe that through attuning to body wisdom, you're also getting closer and closer to understanding, you know, who you really are and what you're really here for and how you want to create purpose and meaning [00:26:00] in life and leadership. And so the whole book builds on these pillars and, you know, as you go through it.
Listener, as you use the exercises that we share at the end of each pillar, automatically, you're going to become more connected to yourself and what's true for you, your truth. And what I've learned through my work with others is that it's the same mechanism. Say you're at an ice cream shop and you're deciding between chocolate and strawberry ice cream, your body is going to tell you if you want the chocolate or the strawberry ice cream.
And it's the same mechanism that says like, is this action aligned for my life or not? You know, it's just small decisions, big decisions. And so connecting with body wisdom can absolutely connect you to your, Deeper why to what you really care about to what you're here on the planet to do. And for me, a lot of that has had to do with like love connecting with the energy of [00:27:00] love and acting from that space.
So I personally believe that the manifestation of your purpose can change moment to moment as we grow. Um, and the kind of grounding force is this. embodiment piece. So in Pillar Six, uh, you meet a really wise human named Darshan, who I honestly, whenever I read Pillar Six, I get brought to tears by, by basically his words.
Like there's so many potent, profound truths that are shared in that pillar that just feel like, um, wisdom to take forward, you know? So, um, I want to rip off
Julie: of what you're saying there, Case, um, I'm imagining the reader out there that is thinking to themselves, um, you know, I'm so disconnected from myself.
I don't even know if I want strawberry or chocolate ice cream. Like, how is this book going to help me? And I want to [00:28:00] reassure you that your natural state is one of an embodied state. It's our toxic culture. It's social socialization that has led, um, us to become more disembodied. And this book is a very practical pathway back to your natural state.
And so wherever you're starting from is just perfect.
Casey: Thank you so very much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, and you'd like to take things a step further, your next step is actually to be in connection with us. I'd love to chat with you. And if you'd like to book a call with me or a member of our team, you can do that through checking out the links in the show notes below.
In that call, honestly, We'd love to listen, hear your story, maybe ask a few questions and get to know what's going on for you and what your big vision is. And maybe there'll be an, a [00:29:00] sense of how we as a community might support you. So thank you so much for listening again. And I hope that you choose to take that next step.
Can't wait to talk with you soon. Bye for now.
