“I’m scared of being successful, what do I do?”
Casey: [00:00:00] Hello. And welcome back to the purpose map podcast. I'm Casey Berglund, your host, and the founder of worthy and well today we have another live coaching episode for the worthy and well-paid series. Our guest today is a entrepreneur whose business has been growing and she is feeling called into a new level of success and Uplevel and expansion.
Casey: And as she. This growth. She feels this heaviness in her heart, this resistance, this contraction or desire to shrink with the expansion comes the contraction for her. And so through this coaching episode, we explore the fears and specifically the sensation around the fears that she has about growing her business.
Casey: And even more than that, like expanding into a new identity and letting an old. Um, false sense of self fall away. [00:01:00] This episode was really beautiful in how she realizes that there's a very special part that has been left behind, that wants to come along for the journey. I'll leave the rest up to your listening ear.
Casey: Take really good care. I hope you enjoy the episode and I can't wait to hear more about what lands for you after you. Listen. Let's dig in. All right. Thank you so much for being here today and being open to some live coaching on the podcast. I'm excited to have you.
Jess: I'm excited to be here.
Casey: Yeah, so we have about 45 minutes or so, and, uh, kind of think of it like a little bit of a turbo coaching session. And of course we're working with this theme of being worthy and well paid this quarter.
Casey: And, uh, it just felt like when we were chatting that [00:02:00] this would be the perfect opportunity for you to receive a bit of support, but also to help, you know, our listeners. Drop in to an experience that might be similar to theirs and learn something from it. So I'm curious in the time that we have, what would you like to focus on?
Jess: Hm. So as I was preparing for today and thinking about this, like kind of my journey as you, and I've talked about, um, and the concept of worthy and well-paid, I realized that where I'm at in my life, I'm going through a transition of kind of an old way that I was doing things into a new way. And I feel kind of.
Jess: Blocked or hesitant. And, uh, I think that I'm struggling with allowing myself to want to be successful if that makes sense. Um, [00:03:00] like there's a deep rooted sense that, um, wanting to be successful is selfish.
Casey: Okay. So it sounds like the topic that we're exploring is your. Personal relationship with success and like successes somehow, um, in alignment with where you're going in this transition, but there's like resistance to allowing it to happen. Does that feel kind of like a captured that yeah.
Jess: Yes. Yep.
Casey: you say the word success, what do you mean when you say that?
Jess: I think that the two parts of the word success in my brain that are attached and that I struggle with are, um, the idea of other people seeing me as financially successful, like to, to want to earn more money, feel selfish and also, um, getting [00:04:00] attention. And I'm not a super big fan of being the center of attention.
Jess: And so the idea of like growing with what I'm working on right now, my, my business and having that become successful and having, you know, having it earn more money or get more attention, feels really scary. And like, I I'm, it's scary for a bunch of reasons, but the one that that?
Jess: comes up today is like the idea of.
Jess: People seeing me and being like, oh, she's vain or she's selfish and self absorbed kind of thing.
Casey: Thank you for sharing this. Um, often folks think about the fear of failure, you know, like, oh, am I scared of failing? And I think it's more rare than. People talk about the fear of success and some of what comes up on a path toward more expansion. And so what I'm really hearing [00:05:00] you say there is that success to you or the specific type of success that you're feeling some resistance around has to do with expanding your financial wellbeing, receiving more money, as well as, or in addition to like being seen.
Casey: As having that type of success. So if I could wave a magic wand and by the end of our time today, you could receive exactly what you came here for. What's more specifically, would you like to get out of the time that we have under this umbrella theme of exploring your relationship with success, specifically financial success?
Jess: I think I would like to feel freed
Jess: like there I've, I've been doing a bunch of work and growing in this area of kind of [00:06:00] dying to who I was before and accepting who I actually am. If that makes sense. Um, letting go of a perceived image of myself and accepting the parts of me that actually feel like me.
Jess: Um, and a part of that is my old identity was purely centered around self sacrifice and other, other minded kind of things. And I feel like there's still like a tie to that where I'm still not free to move forward. Um, so I think figuring out a way to like cut that tie or allow myself to just fully move forward in who I know I am and what that means for
Jess: and myself.
Casey: Yeah. So this desire to feel free, to feel liberated from what [00:07:00] limits you and where you hold yourself back from that type of success. And I couldn't help. But notice, as you talked about feeling free, your hand came to your heart, like a number of times you just brought your hand to your heart and you sort of leaned back and you kind of looked up.
Casey: Uh, when you were talking about feeling free, and I'm curious, I'm curious about that. Like, even if you were to sort of replay that movement, tell me about bringing your hand to your heart.
Jess: Uh, I think that's because this is where I feel it.
Jess: When I think about that feeling of being restricted or being tied. Um, it's I think, Yeah.
Jess: it's, it's, uh, a fear of what other people will think of me or like a judgment. If I let go of who I was, because who I was or who I've been previous. Was to their benefit or was something they were comfortable with or really familiar with.
Jess: And when I think about [00:08:00] changing or accepting that it might be different, I feel constriction. I feel a tightening in my chest and a bit of a weight, like it's heavy.
Casey: Hmm, great awareness, really beautiful awareness. It makes perfect sense that you would feel a tightness in your chest or a heaviness around your heart with the thought of changing or expanding into who you really are versus who you've projected. You are to the world, especially if you feel like that projection of yourself has created community or you've built relationships around that, it makes perfect sense that the idea of change would bring about this contraction of like, I'm not sure if these are your words, but like who will I let down or who do I need to disappoint?
Casey: Or will people still like me or appreciate me, or, you know, there's kind of this like deep rooted fear of will I get kicked out of the tribe. If I expanded to my fullness, how does that land with you being reflected back?[00:09:00]
Jess: I think, I think that's all accurate. And I also realize that it's kind of twofold. Um, personally, I fear what you're talking about. Like the, the loss of community, the loss of connection, because it might feel like I'm not the same person to them because I would essentially have different boundaries than I did before.
Jess: Um, but I also recognize as recognized as you were talking that, um, a lot of the work that I do has been based on this previous projection, like of being a helper and, and that is genuinely what I want to do, but I think I struggled to figure out how to reconcile those two parts of me. Like how, how do I still help and over-give, and, and be that person that I want to be for people.
Jess: With drawing the boundaries that will allow me to channel it into a more successful thing. Um, and I, I [00:10:00] fear that if I change the way I've been doing it, that the connections I've built personally and professionally will be in danger
Casey: Got it.
Jess: that kind of changing.
Casey: perfect sense. And we're going to momentarily dig into some of those fears. You know, it's, it's really important to kind of know where the resistances and, and bring like additional awareness to what sort of running under the surface in order to feel the liberation that you want, the freedom, the freedom from the weight, the heaviness in your heart.
Casey: And before we go deeper in that direction, I'm curious to know why it feels important for you to expand into your next level of success, including financial success. What will having that do for you?
Jess: I I've identified recently as I've been learning more about kind of my core motivators and [00:11:00] core fears. Um, Success where my definition of success is like what I'm looking for to feel satisfied. No, like I thrive on a challenge and I think I've reached this, this crossroads in my life where previously I was challenged in other ways.
Jess: And then now I'm reaching this point where the next challenge feels like leveling up in my. But I'm resistant to it because this is a big one, Right. Like I, to challenge yourself in a hobby or to challenge yourself in personal development is inside of you. It's something that's not as visible to the world around you.
Jess: But now this challenge that I feel is my next challenge. Like, this is what I'm feeling like I need to do, but to step out in it is very public for the first time. Like this challenge will be witnessed by so many. Terrifying.
Casey: [00:12:00] Right. Okay. Yeah. Tell me about the terrifying feeling. Tell me about the fears, if you, if you're open to kind of giving them a voice and, and as you do, like, I always like to bring this energy of like curious compassion, you know, sometimes it's easy to be like, oh, Get out of here, fear. I want you to go away so I can move on.
Casey: And if we sort of like bring into this awareness or this space, that there's a reason for the fear, and maybe they have a bit of wisdom and, or maybe there's a way to approach the fear in a gentle and kind way. Sometimes I find that that's more helpful for like integration and moving forward. And so I want to invite you into sharing some of the fears or why this feels terrifying with the, uh, I suppose.
Casey: Permission or invitation to hold those fears with a bit of gentleness.
Jess: I don't think they've ever been [00:13:00] greeted with so much compassion before.
Casey: What are you scared of? What do we need to address or resolve in order to help get you, uh, feeling free from the fear and able to step into your next level of success, which it sounds like means an upper level in your business where you're being seen in a different way. So what do we need to address or resolve?
Casey: What are the fears that we need to look at in order to get you that.
Jess: I think that when I say that it's terrifying to think about that being so publicly witnessed. Um, it feels like that is tied to like a really old and maybe not properly acknowledged fear of failure. Um, I'm afraid of failing. Almost across the board, but I think as I've been kind of [00:14:00] investigating that, not fully, but in teeny bits, um, I've realized that my sense of self-worth is pretty tied to success.
Jess: Um, as an entrepreneur, I've been trying really hard to frame my, reframe my mindset and acknowledge that failure is like a stepping stone, not the end of a journey. Um, And that really speaks to some deep part of me because I am afraid of failing. Like I don't want to fail at all. And so to step out publicly like this, to, um, to say that I want something and maybe not achieve it would make me feel like I am less awesome. Like it somehow it's somehow like a, uh, a measuring stick for my self worth as a human, which when I say it out loud, I don't, I don't think I really believe that, but [00:15:00] there's some subconscious fear of that.
Jess: that the world will see this success or failure as the measure of who I am and how much I'm working.
Casey: Right. Right. So, so there's an underlying fear of failure and there's an underlying story that if I fail and my worth is connected to my success, then the failure would mean that I'm less worthy or less. Um, Lovable or desirable or there's something underneath there. And, and what I heard you say is that as you hear yourself talk, your intellect is kind of like, Ugh, that's, that's not true.
Casey: Like I'm, I'm witnessing that in you, like on an intellectual level, you know, that you're worthy beyond what happens in your business. Does that feel correct? On an intellectual level?
Jess: Yes. but it feels disconnected.
Casey: Right. There's something deeper. That is like, [00:16:00] I'm not so sure. And again, I noticed as you started to talk about this and brought up this fear of failure, your hands, both hands, this time kind of came into your chest again.
Casey: And, um, I just witnessed that and almost like this witnessing of you kind of like holding your breath a little bit. It's like, Ooh, this is scary. And it's coming up in your body a little. Yeah. I'm curious where you feel, where you feel that fear of failure in your body.
Jess: Oh, most definitely. Right where you were, were seeing me. Uh, it, it feels for some reason, like my heart center kind of area feels very vulnerable. And when I think about that fear, I feel it here, like, I just want to, to cover it. Um, Yeah,
Jess: I'm not sure why, but it feels. Almost like you [00:17:00] want to curl up, you know, like curl up into a ball and I guess protect myself.
Casey: yeah. Yeah. I'm noticing you pull your shoulders forward. Bring both hands to your heart, your shoulders come up towards your ears. There's like a physical contraction curling the top.
Jess: I think I, I think I want to get smaller is what it feels. Like when I feel that fear, I feel like I want to take up less space. Be less noticeable. Just, just be, Yeah. Yeah. Yup.
Casey: So, so here's what we're dealing with on one hand, there's this part that wants to expand and open and achieve a next level of success and be okay with being seen in receiving more money, growing your business, being. Expansion. And as soon as there's the acknowledgement of that part, this fear comes in [00:18:00] and makes you want to shrink and get small and hide and prevent you from leaning into the expansion.
Casey: Yeah. And let me remind you how completely natural that is, that it's absolutely human with a next level of expansion. For that, to kind of like trigger all the constricting thoughts and fears and feelings. So anyone in your shoes would experience the maybe recoil or the closing in after claiming a expensive desire?
Casey: I literally in every single introductory call before I coach someone, they tell me about their vision and they get big and, and almost everyone has. Contraction that follows. Um, and so if I can just normalize that for [00:19:00] you and also remind you that, like the contraction has some wisdom for you and the expansion has some wisdom for you.
Casey: So right now, what, what we're dealing with is. What do I do with this contraction and this desire to shrink that comes up as a fear of failure that shows up as a vulnerability in the heart space that makes you want to protect it literally with your hands, bringing your shoulders forward, curling into a ball.
Casey: I'm curious. I'm curious if you feel safe enough in this moment to kind of like gently and compassionately explore that contraction in the body. Um, yeah. How does that feel?
Jess: Uh, a little bit scary, but also like, I can't imagine there would be any forward motion without it.
Casey: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like it feels important to explore that contraction in order to move forward. [00:20:00] Okay.
Jess: I think so.
Casey: Yeah. And so let me remind you that whenever we kind of like do embodiment work or a tune to the body, We're sort of entering into the mystery and most people don't drop into their body because mystery is scary.
Casey: You know, we want security, we want to feel safe and secure. And so a lot of people have like a fear of going into kind of the unknown or the mystery and. Tuning into your body. Wisdom is, uh, a bit of a mysterious journey, which is also what makes it a really exciting and delighting journey. And the more evidence you get that your body has wisdom for you, I think it becomes fun.
Casey: But given that, um, given that. We can't always predict exactly. What's going to show up when we go there. Uh, I just want to share that at any point you can literally like come out by opening up your eyes or like popping out of it, popping back up in your head. Um, [00:21:00] if at any point it feels too unsafe to keep exploring the body you're in charge.
Casey: And also if you can, um, set the intention to have like, Courage, curiosity and compassion. Usually it helps to like ease in to some of those vulnerable parts and actually learn how to be with them. And ultimately, most, most folks come out feeling quite empowered. So what questions do you have before we get exploring some of that heart space?
Jess: Honestly, I don't think I have any, I feel, I feel do you feel curious and a little scared, but I'm also curious to see what would happen if I actually tried.
Casey: okay, beautiful. And I'm here holding space for you. So we're good. So I'm going to invite you if it feels safe for you to close your eyes and, or find a spot in front of you to gaze at whatever feels best for you [00:22:00] and already, I see you kind of shifting your shoulders back and down. And just to start to invite a deep breath in, through your nose and out through your mouth.
Casey: Again, inhale through the nose, inviting in this courage, this curious compassion and exhale to kind of soften one more inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth.
Casey: I'm going to get you to inhale and bring into your awareness, this thinking about an expansion and, and then the fear that comes up. And as you exhale, I invite you to bring your awareness down into your body and just notice [00:23:00] what you feel and where you feel it. So when you imagine leaping into your next level of success, financial success, abundance, and being seen in that.
Casey: Notice what you feel and where you feel it in your body. And you're looking for sensation. So expansion contraction, tightness, tension, tingling, openness, pulsing, heat, cold. Those are some examples. Just taking a few more breaths and scanning the body. And from this state, I invite you only when you're ready to dialogue with me while staying embodied and keeping your eyes closed, if that continues to feel safe for you.
Casey: So what do you feel and where do you feel it?[00:24:00]
Jess: As I'm imagining the, the fears that you're talking about. I can definitely that tightness in my chest. I also feel like I'm fighting the urge to bring my shoulders up and it feels like it's a protective gesture. Like to protect my neck somehow, even though there's no physical threat, obviously, but, um, Yeah.
Jess: And a little bit of, uh, like queasy sensation.
Casey: Where do you feel that queasiness?
Jess: in my, in my stomach, kind of in my center feels kind of like motion sickness, maybe.
Casey: Yeah. Got it. So. [00:25:00] When you noticed sensations in your body, remember too, that you can always use your breath to help soften any sensation, just to make them a little bit easier to be with. And I'm going to invite you to let your body like fully show you what this is. So what I'm hearing you say is there's this tension in your chest and your shoulders want to come up towards your ears.
Casey: I'm actually gonna invite you to let your shoulders do what they want to do. Even if it's, you know, that protective coming up to your ears and notice that kind of queasy feeling and see if you can. Just like gently be with those sensations and continue to breathe. Okay.
Casey: And I'm curious, what sensation is most asking for your awareness? Like what is most prominent? What [00:26:00] is most like? What's sort of like pay attention to me, pay attention to me.
Jess: I think it would be my shoulders, but as you were talking about letting them do What they wanted to do, I felt like if, I were truly to just let my body do what it wanted to do, I would probably be curling up, you know, like bringing my, my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them and just. when I, when I sit with that fear, it makes me want to, again, like get into that protective stance.
Casey: What if, uh, to the capacity that you're able to right now, you like allowed yourself to go there. You know, like I just want to invite you to like, get into that [00:27:00] protective stance. I know they're a part of your brain might be feeling like, oh, this is silly. I don't want to do this. There might be resistance coming up, but just like follow that urge.
Casey: There's this sort of tightness in the chest. The shoulders want to come out the arms, want to come in together, the knees. And so just notice that.
Casey: And when the head throws a thought your way, say like, thank you, thought I see you were doing like an embodiment practice right now. And come back to the point of focus. just notice this.
Casey: And take as much time as you need, but when you feel called to share, I invite you to share with me, like, what [00:28:00] else you're noticing as you do this, or how else you might describe this sensation?
Jess: Yeah, I think. It feels like I said, a desire to shrink, um, and maybe also to like, tighten if that makes sense, like to con contract, but not was like, um, like I have more control like this.
Casey: Yeah, totally. So just if you can be with that, so this desire to tighten to control, I did notice your fingers kind of [00:29:00] locked together and your arms came in and it's like, there's a holding like a holding of yourself in this position. Yeah.
Casey: So just continue to breathe.
Casey: Noticing and allowing for this part that desires to shrink, to tighten, to control, to curl up into a ball.
Casey: And almost as if there's a way to explore even closer to the different sensations. Some people like to envision that there's like a little version of them going inside and like walking around and observing what's happening on the inside. That's an option for you, but as if you can kind of like explore from the inside what's happening and get a little closer to.[00:30:00]
Casey: To the sensation, to the shrinking, to the tension, to the tightness, to the curling.
Casey: It's going to invite that now.
Casey: And notice how else you would describe this? Like if this sensation feels hot or cold, heavier light,
Jess: I think everyone say it hides almost like [00:31:00] flushed.
Casey: Yeah, like that queasy feeling, is that connected to the kind of flushed feeling? Yeah. And I'm also curious how. Old, this sensation feels like if it feels like it's a new thing for you, or if it's been around for a while, this curling, the shrinking, this hot flushed feeling.
Jess: It feels like an old friend. Maybe never agreed to be friends with.
Casey: Got it. Yeah. It's like a part that, you know well, but that you don't want to know. Well,
Jess: I think this is a default. It feels, um, like I [00:32:00] get the sense that this is like a loop that I live in. um,
Jess: And like you explained like that after an expansion comes the contraction, but as I'm sitting here contracted, I feel like this is my more defaulted position like that. Like maybe there have been a few expansions, but most of the time I come back here because this is where I'm familiar and where I feel safe, even though. Um, I'm realizing that safe and comfortable are maybe not the same.
Jess: Like this might not be where I actually want to live. It's like, I, I, in this safe space, it's like, I'm in a room, but it's a really boring room and it's safe, but the walls aren't my favorite color. And I didn't like [00:33:00] it's, hasn't been decorated. It has nothing to do with me, but it is safe.
Casey: Yeah, of course it would be like, this is a familiar place, a default place it's easier to access and go to, it's easier to access and go to, even though it's boring and a bit uncomfortable, what just happened? You just popped out. You just popped out of it. Tell me what just happened.
Jess: Uh, when I described it as this, the room, like, as I'm describing this room, it was like, my brain, all of a sudden was like, yeah, of course, like you made this space a long time ago when you didn't know yourself and it's still. But you've, it's like, I've, I've, I've seen enough of the world to know that there are enough of myself to know that there's, there's something [00:34:00] outside of it that I'm, I might actually like better. And for some reason, like verbalizing the room analogy made my brain have like a moment of boldness and feel like, yeah, maybe you want, like, why, why wouldn't you want to go someplace? Painted your favorite color and like something that reflects who you are, not this boring place, like it's safe, but it's boring and that's not what I want.
Casey: Yeah, I hear you. So, so there was something about describing the room that sort of popped you out of the contraction. Like physically, I watched it, you opened your eyes, you kind of straightened up, you came out of your curl, you brightened up with a smile on your face and something shifted where it's like, oh yeah, like of course you would want nicer curtains and a better color and maybe a bigger room.
Casey: And I, I want to invite you for a moment. This is really like [00:35:00] wise and beautiful. And I want to invite you for a moment because of what you said about it, feeling like an old friend that you never chose to be friends with. I, I just want to invite you to not quite pop out of it yet, if possible. And.
Casey: Rather to, to imagine that like, okay, there's these two parts, there's this drinking part that feels like safer in a small, boring room. And there's this other part that suddenly feels bold. And like, I want to jump into a new room and I suppose I'm curious if those parts can kind of. Dialogue specifically.
Casey: I'm wondering if with like a gentle compassion, you could ask the shrinking part.
Casey: What role are you playing here? Like how are you trying to help me?[00:36:00]
Casey: What is the purpose of staying in this small, boring?
Jess: I think. My small, boring room. Uh, I'm getting the sense that, like, that almost gratitude like that small, boring?
Jess: room in that, in that moment of boldness and wanting to step out of it, I kind of felt almost like, Yeah.
Jess: I want, I want nothing to do with it. I want. Something totally different because that's boring.
Jess: And that's, like I said, not a friend I ever wanted to make, but, um, when I sit with it, I, I feel like that room was [00:37:00] born out of necessity. And also like, it has it, it might not have been a friend I wanted, but it was. If that makes any sense, like it, it has been, it has been there for me and protected me and been a safe place.
Jess: Like maybe I don't need to live live here, but, um, I can see like why it exists within me and that like that it's not all bad. Like it, it's not a bad thing. I just, I feel like maybe the sense I'm getting is that. Maybe want to live fully in either of those like that. Like me, if I were to think of all of me like that, that boring room is a part of me.
Jess: I just don't want it to be all, all of them.
Casey: Yes, totally hear you. So what I'm hearing you [00:38:00] say is that this room was born out of necessity. And this little girl who shrinks in this room is doing so to feel safe.
Casey: And there's this other part that wants a bigger, brighter, prettier room and to like expand into that room. And both of those are welcome here. And I suppose I'm curious, we've been talking about the room, um, but I'm curious if you asked the little girl in that room who shrinks, if you asked her what she needs to feel safe in this next level, what she might say.
Casey: And what's coming up for you right now. There's some emotion.
Jess: Yeah. it's a surprisingly emotional thing to admit. [00:39:00] This might sound kind of weird, but, um, I feel like she wants the big, bright version of me to accept her. Like, um, like almost as if I've divided myself into two identities and I. to almost like kill off one of them. And that, like, when you talk about the room being a little girl, um, that little girl just feels so scared, like just, and, and kind of afraid of being left alone again by the new me, even
Casey: Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Completely normal for that to come up completely normal. So it's like the little girl who shrinks in this room is scared of being left alone and rejected by a different part. [00:40:00] And, and I'm, and it sounds like she's just kind of crying out to be taken along for the journey and to be valued in the journey.
Casey: And I'm, I'm curious if there's a way in this room that the bold part could actually like approach that shrinking part, the little girl treat her the way that she wants to be treated.
Jess: I'm imagining like the visual picture that comes to mind is like, I'm visualizing these two parts of myself as if one is a younger me and one is a future me. Um, and I, the visual image is of like future me [00:41:00] coming and wrapping younger me in a hug and the sensation, the sensation is. Um, almost like your you've done your job.
Jess: Like you don't have to,
Jess: you don't have to be strong anymore. Like that. It's okay.
Casey: I invite you to anchor that in like, stay there with that visual. Future me older, you approaching younger, you who's curled up in a ball. Who's holding it all together. Who's gripping for control for her own survival and safety receiving like a hug and being able to soften and future you saying to that little girl, like thank you.
Casey: Thank you. Thank you. You've done your job. You get to relax. You get to soften, maybe even stand up, like you get to you, get to stretch out[00:42:00]
Casey: and just let whatever emotion comes to your face. Like, let it release, let it flow. I know there's vulnerability there. And just anchor in this like tender embrace.
Casey: I'm also getting this intuitive hit to maybe, um, you know, help her have a role in the expansion. Like, I don't know. Does she get to maybe pick the curtains or the color to paint the walls? Or like what, what can her role be in this new expansion?
Jess: Uh, this is a variant kind of surreal experience for me, visualizing all of these things in this way. But. [00:43:00] When you were talking about what her role could be. It was a, it's kind of like, I could see her smile. Um, she, this sounds really strange to my own ears, but she wants to be a kid. Like she just wants to have fun with it. You know what I mean? Like she wants to play.
Casey: Yeah. Amazing. Of course she does. Of course she does, especially if she's been kind of like wound up in a ball and holding on for dear life and tight and doing that to be safe. Of course she wants to just like, let go a little bit and play and run around and maybe like, have maybe she wants, she's asking you for like, can we please have some space in this new expansion for some fun?
Casey: Like, can it be a little bit fun?[00:44:00]
Jess: Yeah, exactly.
Casey: And what happens with future? You are older, you when she asks for that,
Jess: It, it feels like, um, future me is. It kind of feels like a permission for it, this whole journey to be more of an experiment,
Jess: like, like it doesn't, it doesn't have to be anything like I'm imagining. Um, you know, if I were to do something structured with a child, I would not have any expectations of the outcome because I would be doing it for the jury.
Jess: Not for the outcome. And I would have so much grace, if it was my own children with me doing an activity and there would be no judgment about what it turned into, because [00:45:00] we would be doing it for the experience. And it feels like something clicked when you said that, like, of course this next journey, it should just be about.
Jess: Like doing it for what it is and enjoying it. Not because I have to reach some place or like, not that it has to become anything defined. It can just be, and kind of like, just have fun with it and see what happens because, because a part of me wants to just play and not be held to any standard.
Casey: Um, yeah, of course, of course that child that was kind of left behind in its reclamation in her reclamation would want to play and experiment and try out new things and leap I'm getting the sense of, um, it's just like less rigid. [00:46:00]
Casey: And I'm I'm wondering what that perspective does to the, you know, the fear of failure, fear of success, or like what happens when we shift into this space of play and experimentation and fun.
Jess: I, yeah, I can feel, it feels very different. Like it's kind of crazy actually to think about, like, when we talked about this in the beginning, didn't realize that I was only thinking of it with one piece of me, but now that I can feel both of those, I can feel like that's, that's, what's missing is like this freedom to, just to just play, like not, not everything has to be so serious.
Jess: And I, I think I've never, I've never invited. [00:47:00] That ball safe space to be part of the journey. there's been a pretty clear, I don't that that safe space is something created in childhood. In another part of me that I, I think previously felt like I needed to heal from and leave behind. But what I didn't realize is like, I need to heal from and bring along.
Casey: Yeah. And when you think about bringing along and this, this might sound like a weird question, and I invite you to just trust your intuition. It's like that little girl that was going to be left behind or that safe space that was going to be left behind that you're realizing like, oh, I actually need to like, bring you along.
Casey: I'm curious where in your body, that little girl part belongs.
Jess: It actually, it feels [00:48:00] like two halves of a circle and it feels like it might be my brain.
Jess: like it, it feels like, um, when I'm envisioning it, I keep seeing it like up here. And I keep seeing this side being like bright and, and that's like the little girl side, like this lighter. Um, brighter thing. And then this half, which was there already, which I'm almost like I almost can't see it.
Jess: Cause it just, it was there. But this one is like
Casey: Right. So you just like welcomed back this other half that brings this kind of like bright light and you see it like sort of a sphere up around your head as part of your brain. Yeah. And I'm just gonna invite you to like go there and let that that's fear those two halves to just like join, to come back to call them home.
Casey: [00:49:00] Like, I don't know why I'm getting the sense of it, like melting into your head, like them just being together.
Casey: and just take a few moments to breathe into that. And this is integration, right? Like this is bringing these parts together for healing. And so just anchoring into that visual, that moment, this healing, this integration,
Casey: remembering that this, you can always come back to.
Casey: And if there's anything else that needs to happen as part of this integration of parts, invite that to happen now.[00:50:00]
Casey: And with no hurry, no rush. When you feel complete. You'll just start to come back into your body and breathe and blink your eyes open, but really take your time.
Casey: Welcome back.[00:51:00]
Casey: So at the start of our conversation today, you shared about this pull toward expansion toward a next level of success. Including financial success, including being seen. And as we explored, it was like that expansion created this sort of recoil contraction that landed you in a small room, curled up in a ball.
Casey: And what you said you wanted out of our time together was freedom or liberation from some of that heaviness and that contraction in the heart and the shoulders in the stomach. So that you could maybe more freely lean into the expansion. And I'm curious how much progress you feel we made towards the goal on a scale from one to 10, where one is [00:52:00] not very much progress and 10 is like a hundred percent.
Jess: Um, I feel, um, I feel like it's probably 70, 80. Like, I feel like. Um, I feel the sense that I need to explore it a bit more and take some time to let it really sink in and make sure that I don't forget it. Um, and like, forget this feeling and this new like integration. Um, but also I can tell, I can tell, um, when we started, I felt almost.
Jess: Frantic. When I thought about the next step, like I needed to run and now I feel like I could just sit in it, you know, like I still feel like that forward [00:53:00] motion is the next step, but I no longer feel like I have to get there. Now. It feels like I've, it feels like I've found a place of peace and where I can walk if I want to.
Casey: Beautiful. Love that. So what I'm hearing you say is there's like a relaxation around leaning into the next level that perhaps wasn't there before there was anxiety around it before like a speed or a frantic newness. And I'm also hearing you say that you want to like anchor in or integrate this experience further.
Casey: So I'm curious, what your next baby step to align with the sitting and integrating things further? What does that mean for you? [00:54:00] Once we wrap up this call?
Jess: I think that I need, I'm a verbal processor. So I think that I need to. Talk out what this means with myself. I think I need to record it so that I can remember it, but I think that I need to like talk through the current sensation I'm feeling and, and like the piece and what it feels like so that I can look back on that and remember the sensation of just feeling. At peace feeling calm.
Casey: Um, beautiful. Um, what role, if any, do you see me playing in supporting that process after the call? Like, do you need any sort of accountability or any other support in the process of. [00:55:00] What I heard you say is like talk out what you're thinking and feelings that you can anchor it in. Um, I'm just curious if there's anything that you need from me that would help to support that further.
Jess: Um, I think I would have been enjoyed to check in with you after a measure of time and just see if I can sell verbalize and like tell you what it feels like for both parts of me to have walked for a bit.
Casey: Awesome. Yeah, that's completely available and we can, it I'm sensing that you're not quite sure what that timeframe is, but we can be flexible and fluid with that. Yeah.
Jess: Yeah, it feels like I need to take it for a test drive, but that I would love to check back in after I've had a chance to like, how this, how it drives on the road. [00:56:00]
Casey: Awesome. Well, I'm very available for that and you're more than welcome to check in and let me know how things go.
Jess: Thank you.
Casey: You're so welcome. Um, anything else that you feel like you need to feel complete?
Jess: No, I don't think so. This feels, this feels very good. I do. Like, I do feel none of that weight.
Jess: what I felt when we start.
Jess: It feels, I feel much lighter.
Casey: And you have a massive smile on your face, which I'm loving.
Jess: I've got to admit, I didn't put any pressure on this to have any specific outcomes. I knew what I wanted to talk about, but I had no idea where it was going and this is like a surprising weight to be lifted. So
Casey: beautiful. Well, that's, that's exactly what you said. You came, [00:57:00] you wanted, right? Like you wanted that weight lifted, so you co-created it, we co-created it together.
Jess: Yeah, this was, this was a beautiful, beautiful walk to go on together. So thank you for it for inviting me.
Casey: You're welcome. Thank you for being part of it and I'll look forward to your check-in.
Jess: Yeah. I'm excited to see where it goes.
Casey: Okay. Um, take really great care.
Casey: Thank you so much for listening to this podcast episode, I invite you to integrate by asking yourself this question, what would happen if each of my fears had a purpose?
Casey: Also what might integration look like for you? I'm curious what landed with you through [00:58:00] listening to this episode. And I can't wait to hear from you feel free to email [email protected] or reach out to us on Instagram at worthy and well, I just think. When we talk about the contraction that sometimes comes with the expansion or the upper limit symptoms that we can experience when growth is happening.
Casey: When we bring awareness to these experiences, we are better able to integrate wisdom from those awarenesses and move forward with more fearlessness, more courage, more clarity, more confidence. Also, if you personally would like some support with achieving your next level of meaningful success, finding clarity of purpose in a time of transition support with letting an old identity die as you embrace a new one and or maybe it's more like integrating an [00:59:00] old identity as you step into a new level of success.
Casey: I know. More than happy to support you up until March 1st, the clarity of purpose private workshop is open and available after March 1st, that experience will turn into a VIP day, a different offer at a higher price point. So depending on what serves you best and what time you're listening to this episode, feel welcome to reach out and.
Casey: Receive some support and guidance so much love to you. I can't wait to chat with you next week. Take really good care. Bye bye.