Embodied Coaching — Cut
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Casey: [00:00:00] Hi there, welcome to the Purpose Map Podcast. This is Kasey Bergland, your host and the founder of Worthy and Well. If you have been listening to the Purpose Map Podcast for quite some time and you haven't yet shared a beautiful review online and given us five stars, if you're listening and you're loving what you're listening to, I want to remind you that that's so, so helpful to us when you rate and review the podcast wherever you tune in from.
It really helps us get our messages across to more people who are just like you. This episode is really fun. It's with Selina Coates, who's a former Worthy and Well client and current member of the Worthy and Well team. Selina has been brought on board primarily to support the space holding of the Let Your Body Lead facilitator training and what's Happened is she's offered so much more supported in developing [00:01:00] resources and being my kind of right hand woman and also in joining in on the gifts of.
What were the email has to offer from this side of the fence in this episode we are pulling back the curtain on how we help people create epic manifestations in their life or call in. What feels like a next level of success for them in the episode, I share that we just came off of the three day retreat for the let your body lead facilitator training.
It's the first of three three day retreats, and I was just following my inspiration to dig into what really happened in that retreat. Not just for our clients, not just what skills they were able to practice and what transformations they got to experience, but actually what happened for me and how my clients who practice their coaching on me.
[00:02:00] Actually helped to change my life. So we're in conversation today. Selena coats and I pulling back the curtain on the unfoldings of our work. And my intention in sharing this with you is that you feel inspired to dream bigger to call in your epic manifestation to work through whatever gets in the way of you receiving that and feeling like you are courageous and empowered to take the next step.
So welcome to our conversation. I'll check in with you at the end. Wow, I have so much inspired energy in me, just as I just tuned into my body with those couple deep breaths before we like really get into it. I just noticed this like expansive heart space, this sort of like bubbly energy up in my head and all around.
Yeah, obviously led to me reaching out to you and being like, Hey, we need to do a podcast episode ASAP. I'm feeling so inspired post retreat. So, uh, welcome [00:03:00] back listener. And we are here, I'm here with Selena Coates, who is a member of the Worthy and Well team. And we just came off of. Our first three day digital retreat for the Let Your Body Lead facilitator training participants.
So they're at a part in their nine month journey where they're a third of the way through, three months in, and have Learned a bunch of skills in the let your body lead method focused primarily on the pillars, coaching and embodiment and this three day retreat, the intention for it was to have a space where our students could drop in together and go deeper, for lack of better words, have a space to experience a personal transformation or the start of a personal transformation.
While also deepening their coaching skills, their capacity to guide people into their bodies, going deeper into a couple of the [00:04:00] specific skills that I think just require a little bit more air time. And in that, of course, they're holding space for each other to change and transform in real and genuine ways.
I think that's one of my favorite parts about the facilitator training is we're training people to become beautiful facilitators of transformational change. And as they practice, they're facilitating transformational change for each other. And what I didn't expect, and what has been pleasantly surprising, is that they have also facilitated over the last retreat, the three days, transformational change for me and for you too, Selina?
Yeah,
Selena: I think so, like, maybe not in as big of a way, but do I feel ready for my next step? Yeah, I do. I do. So. I guess, yeah, now that I say it, totally, they really facilitated some change for me as
Casey: well. Yeah, and it was [00:05:00] kind of like, wow, I had this moment of epic fulfillment, recognizing that the skills that we teach in that program, I got to be on the receiving end of and feel this like beautiful expansion, inspiration, like less resistance around an epic manifestation that I'm calling in.
And I just think that that was such an incredible marker of how amazing this program is, you know, and also how amazing our students are and our clients and how naturally gifted but also skilled they are because they've practiced. At getting someone from point A to point B, you know, so I'm really like grounded into that right now.
Selena: It is, it is extraordinary to see three months, three months of this work and the transformation that these people have [00:06:00] gone through, these participants and how much the skills have grown in that short of a time. Um, it's quite extraordinary. So, so the. How good the program is.
Casey: Yeah, absolutely. And I suppose this inspiration that I feel today is the, the inspiration is telling me to like pull back the curtain a little bit for our podcast listeners.
And share, um, a bit of a behind the scenes look of like what we actually did and pull back the curtain on, you know, in some ways, a bit of a debrief you and I debriefing about it. But what I really want to share is. The, the big picture transformational journey that our clients were taken on. And also that unexpectedly, you and I both dropped into, we both got to go on that same transformational journey, which I think is really beautiful to actually just [00:07:00] be on the same level as our clients and meet each other as humans who are Transcribed Learning and using skills and have big dreams and are calling in.
You know, we called it epic manifestations in our retreat. Um, and, you know, we've also used next level of success. So I think those two definitions could go hand in hand. Um, but I'd love to start by first pulling back the curtain on the, of transformation over the three days that we had together. Um, we had three days that were each day had two 90 minute blocks.
So not full days. We're on zoom. Uh, as you might imagine, uh, the digital fatigue is real when you spend too much time online. But I find that having, you know, a couple blocks of 90 minutes each with a break in between is. The right amount of time to be spending together. So that's how each of our days, uh, [00:08:00] was built.
And, um, yeah, I had a dream the night before that helped to clarify the transformational art, which is just, I don't know, I'm pulling back a curtain. So let me pull the curtain way back and just share that. I often ask my dreams for wisdom and they give me wisdom and it helps my work. And so I said to one of my clients, um, yeah, you were in my dream last night.
And what's true is that many times my clients are in my dreams or in my meditations, et cetera. And that's part of why, I don't know, this work is so integrated with life. But anyway, over the three days, the intention was to clarify an epic manifestation, a next level of success that. Was bigger than just something that would be made manifest in that three days.
So an epic manifestation, a next level [00:09:00] of success, a goal and intention that could be made manifest, say, in the next six months, maybe shorter because coaching embodied coaching really helps to like timelines.
Um, but to actually get clear on that and then to be guided through a process using the skills that they've learned to, uh, for lack of better words, unkink the hose. It's like our desires want us as much as we want them. And if the hose is, if there's water flowing through the hose, we just get shot towards our desires.
But because we're humans, we have these like perspectives. That, uh, perspectives, limiting beliefs, interpretations, assumptions, uh, shame. We have these things inside of us that keep us from making manifest our epic manifestations or making real our next level of success. And so, [00:10:00] we helped each other move through the kinks in the hose so that we could get closer to actually receiving what we're calling in.
And by the end of the retreat, we got clear on next steps in alignment with that epic manifestation. I'm feeling to just pause for a minute because I've been hearing my own voice for a solid chunk of time. Uh, did I miss anything there? Like, obviously that's kind of the big picture arc and we're going to go into it in a little bit more detail and share some of our personal stories, but I just want to take a minute to check in with you, Selena, what else felt really important about the arc of transformation that we took our clients through?
Selena: Yeah, I want to, I want to speak to the container that, that we created a little bit, I think even before, you know, your epic dream of, okay, I know [00:11:00] exactly how this is going to work, all this came in, we had an intention of it being a learning, a space for learning, but also a space for, I would say healing and growth, um, and, A really comfortable container for our, our people to land in, in a safe container, maybe not comfortable.
That might not be the best word because they're being pushed to look at maybe some uncomfortable things. But we had that intention about that container and we wanted it to feel like a retreat and we wanted it to feel like a learning experience. And then that how came through through that dream and it was just so perfect to be.
Nourishing ourselves in that way with some real, um, real next level steps that we wanted to call in and bring in real things that are getting in the way. And I think, um, we [00:12:00] witnessed that for all of our clients. I witnessed it for you, you witnessed it for me. And I think that's. It's so amazing that we were able to, as facilitators, take away just as much, um, as our clients did.
And I think that's important, um, about this program is like, we're here on this journey. We're not claiming to be, you know, higher or more evolved or whatever than our participants, which I think is, um, just beautiful. I don't think there needs to be a hierarchy to things. So, yeah, it's just more about the container that I wanted to share there.
Casey: Yeah, thanks for sharing that. Uh, yeah, we've had three months of deep rapport building already. And of course, I don't know, in my experience, I feel like our clients drop into safety pretty quickly. Maybe because we show up authentically and also from the very get go get our clients to co create the container.
They're [00:13:00] part of it, so they get to ask for what they need to feel safe. And that's key to then being able to transform, you know, because transformation is a wild process. And especially since we're layering in the embodiment pieces, you know, we had lots of conversation over the retreat around, uh, can you drop people into their bodies in, say, like a busy corporate environment or, you know, like where there might be a lack of them feeling safe to do so, to like pause and close their eyes and take a few breaths and, and the truth really is that that safety has to be there to a certain extent.
Transcribed In order for the type of transformational change we're talking about to happen. So I really appreciate you bringing that, that piece into the equation. Um, do you remember what your epic manifestation is? I do. I'd love for you to claim it because basically I'd love for us to share what we came to as we facilitated this journey for others because of how it also impacted us.[00:14:00]
Yeah.
Selena: And as I'm about to say it, I'm realizing how the language I didn't have before, so the first step of this was to, to go in and be coached by a participant on, um, on the manifestation itself. What are you calling it? So mine is, I am creating a new model of success that values ease, power, authenticity, and love.
And like the words model of success were, were from one of the participants. And I was like, yes, thank you for reflecting those words. I said them in a different way. Um, And that statement just feels so true to me right now and continues to feel true. What's yours, Kasey? We'd love to hear yours.
Casey: Yeah. So on that first day, when I kind of tuned in, I was like, I am [00:15:00] calling in the ideal environments for me to thrive.
And uh, I mean the context around that, I, I facilitated the retreat from California and, uh, that inherently is part of me exploring. Ideal environments. But, um, yeah, really just claiming that that is something that I've realized is really important to me is the environment I'm in really impacts me. So calling in the ideal environments to thrive, um, felt like what I came to because I've just been feeling like am I to move?
Where should I be over the last few years? And I've really started to explore it over the last year. So I wanted more clarity and more, um, awareness around like, how do I know when I've got that, you know? And, and what does that actually mean to me? And what's getting in the way of being in the ideal environments for me to thrive?[00:16:00]
So that's where we began, and then we entered into a deep dive teaching around a framework that's developed by IPEC coaching called, uh, an acronym I should say, called the GALES. And the GALES are, are basically the parts, the pieces that can create resistance or the kinks in the hose to come back to that metaphor.
Um, G stands for gremlin. The gremlin carries shame. The gremlin is the too much not enough voice. A stands for Assumption. An assumption is believing that something will happen in the future because it happened in the past. I stands for Interpretation. An interpretation is a story. That I [00:17:00] might make up that may or may not be true, but a story that I make up about what's going on or what someone else thinks about me, you can imagine how that could kink up the hose if I'm just like making up stories about how people are going to judge me, that's a little, uh, seed planted for to come back to a little later and L stands for limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are typically Cultural or societal beliefs that create a limit in some way. So the gales created by IPEC coaching, the gales provide a framework for helping clients, helping us move through what is creating energy leaks resistance. Uh, I don't love the term blocks, but I'm going to use it for the sake of the person who would better understand what that means.
Basically, the gales create kinks in the hose. They also create constriction or contraction in the body, shows up in the body. And [00:18:00] when we can coach people through how any one of those gales shows up for them, we can actually help them get closer towards their goal. So, in part one of our training, we clarified the epic manifestation.
In part two, we did a deep dive on the gales, and I taught this framework. And then coached each other, we coached each other and because there was an odd number, I got to also receive coaching to coach and be coached. And I think it was like a 10 minute block of time that we had to like each to coach each other through, um, whatever Gail might be coming up or to even.
Observe and bring awareness to what Gale is present that might be leaking energy or keeping that person from moving forward in an easeful way towards their epic manifestation. And in that first little bit of [00:19:00] time, like one of our clients, you know who you are. Thank you for your genius work. Was coaching me and got me talking about environments, ideal environments for me to thrive.
Like what gets in the way of that? And, um, I just was talking and, and at one point she said to me, she's like, she asked the question, what other interpretation could you make about what people think about you when you travel? Because what was identified was that I carry alongside my desires. Shame for having those desires.
So alongside my desire to adventure, to travel, to go on solo journeys, to like drive 40 plus hours to another like city really far away and back. Like what comes alongside that for me is like shame or fear of judgment. And she helped me to see two things. [00:20:00] One, that for me, when I adventure, every time I physically travel or go on a road trip, I am taking myself on a heroine's journey.
And when I do that, I am putting myself through scary moments for my own growth. And what I know to be true, or what I clarify to be true through being coached, was that I am collecting elixirs to bring back to my people. I'm going through a journey myself that changes me. And then I feel like on the other side of that journey, I have more wisdom to share with my clients to do my purpose driven work in the world.
And so she helped me to see that like, of course, it's important to me that I travel given my value system for growth and service, et cetera. And then the other interesting interpretation that came up [00:21:00] was that I don't want people to judge me for flitting, for like, I use the example of, you know, when I go to the ashram in India, I'm going to get the like spiritual downloads that I want to use and help my people with, whereas I see people that are flitting from ashram to ashram seeking a spiritual high, but they're not doing anything with it.
And it illuminated my own judgment towards these types of people, but also this internalized story I've built up that people are judging me as flitting. And just, like, naming that also helped me realize, like, What's the judgment around doing something for the delight of doing it? You know, why can't I let myself just travel because it's fun and it's joyful and it's delightful?
And I sort of realized that both things were true for me, that when I journey, there's a There's a heroine's quest that I'm going on and I'm bringing back elixirs for my [00:22:00] people and also that I have this judgment or this fear that other people will judge me for being irresponsible, for flitting, for, for not doing it for a good reason, you know?
And just seeing that or being coached to see that helped me to like release some of the tension that I didn't even know, you know, I didn't even know that that was part of the tension that I carry. Every time I do something in alignment with finding ideal environments for me to thrive, that that part is connected so you can imagine how that awareness is supportive for actually like allowing myself to do what my soul is calling me towards, which is to face my fears through adventure to like adventure for the delight of it for the joy of it.
And to enjoy the journey of finding the environments that make me feel great or feel like myself. [00:23:00] Um, so that was a big part of the afternoon for me.
Selena: I just love, I love how one question can just open all of that up. One question held in a, in a loving space. Um, can unlock so much, um, change for a person and I just hear the excitement in you, Casey. Like ever since you come off of this retreat, it's like, Oh, hi, like later. So I just want to recognize that for you.
Casey: Yeah. And, and it's kind of crazy how, like, I don't know. I probably took almost 10 minutes to describe the story of that part of the journey when the coaching itself was like only 10 minutes, but really at the end of that 10 minutes of me being coached on like what gales might be present here that are keeping you from taking a step towards that epic manifestation.[00:24:00]
I left that 10 minutes with the like, why wouldn't I shout from the rooftops? Uh, the process. Why would, why would I wait or hold in secret my plans before I go? When, like, basically the coaching question that she asked me was like, other story, could you be making up about how people see you or what they think about you when you travel?
And I was like, Oh, they could be inspired by me. Oh, like. You know, my fear of my mom not wanting me to go. It's so weird, though, like, I'm a grown ass woman. Why do I still care what my mom thinks? But I do, and most of us do, right? And I was like, well, maybe my mom actually sees me living out one of her dreams that she didn't get to do, and maybe there's a part of her that's inspired by that.
Maybe I'm a model for a different way of living, maybe I don't know, I'm contemplating, maybe I live a third of the year and [00:25:00] I don't know, Costa Rica, maybe I live a third of the year in California, maybe I live the third of the year in Calgary, maybe me actually sharing that sharing my inner journey.
Spark something in someone else that's actually expansive. So in other words, how could I create an interpretation that's more empowering to me? And by the end of that 10 minutes, I wanted to shout from the rooftops, which I'm literally doing now through this podcast, right? I wanted to shout from the rooftops, like, here's what I'm thinking about what I want to do next.
I want to share my joy with people and not be scared of people judging me for being joyful or delighted. You know, there's like, it's kind of fucked up. How there's a fear around being seen as irresponsible for being happy.
Think about that. Like, listener, I don't know if this is just me, but maybe there's some version of that for you where, like, you have this dream or this desire, this next level of [00:26:00] success, this epic manifestation, like, maybe you haven't even let yourself go there to think about that because you're already blocking yourself.
Without knowing the how or people's judgments, you know, some of us don't even let ourselves go there because the gales are so strong or because the resistance in our bodies is so intense. But like, what if you could first go there and like, is it true for you to maybe that there's fear around? What it might mean if you're living your dream life of being judged for that, because it's maybe not the conventional norm, you know, like, it's almost like sometimes we can connect better in our suffering and in our pain and in our victimhood and in our anger than we can in our joy, our bliss, our delight, etc.
Or at least that feels true for me. I like have these hidden fears that when I'm living my best life, for lack of a better word. That I'm [00:27:00] being judged from others for being like irresponsible or something, like what a load of crap. Anyway, thanks for holding space for me, Selena, to just like pull that out of me and share that part of the story.
So, that was day one, basically. That was epic. Yeah. And, and then day two of our retreat was all about the body. It was like, okay, we've worked through these kind of like mental frameworks, these coaching frameworks for helping to find clarity, identifying where there might be resistance or kinks in the hose.
Let's see what the body has in store. And so I guided our clients to practice. Using the body acronym tool as a way to explore embodiment with each other. And in the afternoon, we brought in a guest, George [00:28:00] Ramsey, to facilitate breathwork. And so if you're listening and you're like, what actually is breathwork?
You know, specifically this circular sort of holotropic type of breathwork. Basically, it's a way of using the breath to alter your state of consciousness so that that mind that is so busy all the time, like judging everything, kind of like gets to take a backseat to what the body wants to do. And breathwork is a way of clearing emotions, physical sensations.
It can bring up a lot. It's one of those things where it's like, you just got to try it because it's impossible to describe. It is really an incredible somatic tool for clearing what doesn't need to be in your energy field and opening you up to more. And so on day two of the retreat, we really had this theme of like, okay, so we've done some chit chatting with the mind.
Let's like really drop into the body and see what the body has to say and trust that the body can also [00:29:00] clear. Any remaining kinks in the hose or whatever is ready to be cleared next. So we got to do that, experience that. Um, I personally, I actually want to skip down to being facilitated by George. I had an experience there where I almost expected there to be more emotions or sensations that bubbled up or that I would see that there's more to be cleared.
There's way more kinks in the hose, but instead what I recognized was this sense of alignment and peaceful ease within myself. And at the end of that. Uh, facilitation, George guided us to imagine a safe environment, which was interesting because I don't think he knew. Maybe he did, but I don't think he knew my like, I'm looking for ideal environments where I can thrive.
But part of his visualization was to imagine like a safe environment and like looking up at the sky. And I [00:30:00] immediately saw a few different environments that came to me. And that sort of brought me to truth tears because I was like, Whoa, okay, I see it. Yes, the exploring I've been doing around environment is being validated through this altered state of consciousness and the visions that I'm getting in a facilitated breathwork experience.
And so, I got out of that experience feeling like, Yes, this is important. This is an important desire. This isn't a fluffy desire. This isn't me. You know, this is like, worthwhile. And I know. And my energy's aligned. I am clear. I can trust myself. So, maybe that's all I'd like to comment about that day too, but it amazes me time and time again, the wisdom that the body has, that shows us like, What's true and what's getting in the way of like leaning into that truth or that alignment or [00:31:00] that next level of success, that epic manifestation.
How was day two for you? Yeah,
Selena: I, the morning is, I believe you did a demo of guiding someone into their body and it's just amazing to see what can be unlocked with, you know, 30 minutes. Or less in when you go into your body and, and feel safe and are guided into that space and what can come out and then, so just witnessing that and being able to witness that it's always like an honor and extraordinary to see that transformation that can happen when people are embodied.
And then in the afternoon with George, you know, I had the intention going into breath work with George of just releasing what needed to be worked through in my body. Thank you. And funny enough, like, I haven't felt a lot of pain in my body for a while, [00:32:00] but as soon as I laid down and started breathing, I was like, and there's the shoulder ache that I've been, was feeling before, and there's the hip pain, and it was like, okay, we're going to release all of that tension through, through the breath.
And sometimes there's things that come through in breathwork that you just have to trust are happening without maybe having the words or understanding of what was happening. But I do think there was just a lot of energetic. Release for me in that session. And at one point, I don't remember George guiding us to like the sky, which not gonna lie, but at one point I remember my integrated self coming, which we use the term integrated self.
That's like your highest self. Um, you know, I picture her [00:33:00] a little bit older version of myself. Uh, with gray hair and, you know, all the things, and she came and put her hand on my chest and said, you're going to be okay, you got this, you're going to be okay, and she just repeated that to me, and that became a mantra actually throughout the day, um, I'm on paddle boarding at a lake I've never been paddle boarding on later that day, and it said, yeah, you're going to be okay, like, It's a little choppy, but you're going to be okay.
So it was just synchronistic with the trip, but I just love what comes through during breathwork.
Casey: Yeah. And what's so fascinating to me is It might not, not, you said this, but it might not make sense to the mind why the body is doing a certain thing, like why you experienced pain and [00:34:00] you, Selena, me, you listener, like you are an integrated multidimensional being, you know?
The mind is not separate from the body is not separate from emotions, not separate from your soul, your spiritual self, et cetera. And so even in that instance where there's pain in the body, it's kind of like, Oh, what is this, you know, and, and you've been working with this intention about creating a new model for success that has ease, et cetera.
So it's like, who knows how those things are connected, the pain in your body and maybe what you've been holding in resisting. The model of success that you're calling it, either way, it's magical to trust that it is all connected, that you releasing the pain. And of course, you releasing pain would be you releasing dense energy that is [00:35:00] stagnating you or keeping you from like more maybe easily, courageously taking next steps next action, you know, And, like, for me, in the breathwork, this feeling of alignment, like I could literally feel the energy in each of my energy centers, like, spinning.
And it felt like this experience of perfect harmony. It was like, how is that connected to ideal environments for me to thrive? Maybe that's not for me to figure out with my mind. Maybe it's for me to trust that it's all part of the process. And whatever experience I had in my body in the breathwork is inherently helping me, guiding me toward what it is that is a soulful desire.
So I think that there can be a Uh, paradigm leap, a mind leap for people when they start to do work that involves the body, embodiment, somatic practice, something like breath work, or other types of body work like [00:36:00] acupuncture, I think about my friend Hannah who does fascial stretch therapy, it's like it's amazing how many times when she's stretching me I'll suddenly like be in tears and then it's connected Down the line, I realized to, um, a specific goal or intention, you know, it's like there's a, there's a mind leap, a paradigm leap.
If you're just starting to drop into the body and the leap is sort of like in a world where we want to know with our intellect or with our brains or be able to articulate exactly what's going on, it's sort of like the body's got a whole different language, a whole different system, a whole different way of processing, releasing, uh, just like intuition, right?
Like intuition often when it first comes doesn't make logical sense, right? But it's still wisdom and there's a level of trust, I guess, to bring that point home. The paradigm leap is like the leap from controlling and needing to [00:37:00] articulate in a specific way to surrendering and trusting that the body mind system is wise and that it is benevolent.
It's helping you in some way to get closer to what's meant for you. So that was day two. Yeah.
Selena: And it's. Love it. Oh my gosh. I'm just listening to you speak. I'm like, yeah, that brings perfect sense that my body reacted or Felt that way during breathwork and it makes perfect sense that I felt a lot of pain and it's released It's like yeah My body kept me in survival mode to get me through being out of alignment for this last However long I know yeah about however long it's been Of course I have pain that needs to be worked out through giving it oxygen.
Like, of course that's, that's true and of course [00:38:00] my body knows what to do and I don't need to know what it's doing. Like, I don't need to know that it's, my heart is beating every second of the day,
Casey: you know what I mean? Yes, that's such a good point. Oh my gosh, Selena, did you just have kind of a big integration truth bomb that just happened?
I just witnessed it. And, and I guess what I want to double click on that you just said is like, our body stores our experiences. Like if you are dealing with chronic pain or some sort of weird sensation or something going on inside of yourself and you're exploring like all these medical interventions and you're seeing the doctor and there's no diagnosis or there's this, you know, it's like imagine that maybe there's something more integrative going on and that instead of trying to fix the body by like getting out of that symptom immediately, what if the body What if [00:39:00] your body is just trying to tell you where you're at and actually offer a root solution to the root cause of the issue?
Like what you just said is like, my body has been in survival mode, surviving a lack of alignment and it's showing up as pain. That's normal. Of course. Right? And that's maybe part of this like mind paradigm leap is like. Y'all, just because your brain doesn't understand doesn't mean your body's not wise.
Your body is wise. You know, one of my favorite quotes from my own book is like the communication between the brain and the body, 80% of the communication between the brain and the body goes from the body to the brain. 80% that's called the afferent pathway. It's like your body is giving you messages. [00:40:00] Why aren't we listening?
Why are we scared to drop into the body when it's really just trying to help? I mean, that's a whole other podcast episode. Why are we scared to listen to the body? Let's like put that to the side for later. Okay. Anyway, day three. Uh, what my dream showed me about the retreat is that day three in the morning needed to be open space for whatever needed to happen to drop in there and what we realized needed to happen on day three in the morning was for people to have more of an opportunity to guide each other into their bodies and to see what's there and to be honest, like there was a lot of resistance.
You watched that too, hey, Selena? Yeah, there was a lot of resistance, uh, that I could sense from our students about, like, guiding each other into their bodies. Why do you think that was,
Selena: Selena?[00:41:00]
Hmm, I think there's part of it that was new. It's a scarier thing to guide someone into their body. Um, I think there's an acknowledgement of how vulnerable it is, as well, for the coach. For the facilitator to be asking somebody to go into their body, which I think it's healthy. Like, it's good to realize, like, we don't know what's going to come up when we give someone space to be within their body.
I think there is that acknowledgement, but I think there's also just a nervousness of like, it's going to come out of me when I'm being facilitated into my body. I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready for that. And. Like, we are going to have to record that podcast of why we're scared to listen to our bodies and go into our bodies, because I do think there's a lot of fear of, of being within our body and it's, [00:42:00] it's easier for us to just stay in this cognitive realm, um, as people, I don't, I don't know a hundred percent why, but it's, there is fear there of like, what if, what if this truth is too big for me to handle?
Maybe it's the, I don't know. The thing.
Casey: What if this truth is too big for me to handle? That's it. Write that down. Um, what if this truth is too big for me to handle? I might get a little existential here, but I'm, I'm actually just thinking about yogic wisdom, ancient wisdom, and this will come up in our training once we get to that module.
Um, the yogis knew that humans are driven away from pain and towards pleasure. And that so much of that actually comes down to a fear of death and that's like a spiritual crisis, right? Like what happens after we die? That's another episode that maybe is not for [00:43:00] this podcast, but and also follow me in this.
If we think about the fear of death being like one of the biggest human fears, part of the fear of death is the fear of the unknown because we're all trying to find an answer to the question, like what happens after we die in this human existence? Like religion has answers to that question. And spiritual teachings have answers to that question.
And, like, we don't know until we know, right? And certainly some people in this living realm would say that they, like, actually know because maybe they've had some sort of communication by people from the other side. Maybe they have been visited by deceased loved ones. Maybe, maybe. Maybe they just really believe their religious doctrine about what happens after they die, and maybe that provides some solace.
And at the end of the day, we don't know until we know, [00:44:00] and there's, like, fear of the unknown associated with this, like, primal human fear of death. And so, follow me here. It's like, that's kind of intense, and the body is mysterious, the body, you know, when we look at like, some of the research around trauma and the nervous system, it's like the body stores our experiences, and so it's like, no shit we're scared of going into the body, on one hand, what you just said about like, That truth, is that too big for me to handle?
I think that's like a really common, unconscious, non conscious, subconscious, uh, thought. And also, when you're going into the body, you're choosing to go into the unknown. Like for some people, [00:45:00] just like, feeling sadness is impossible for them because the discomfort of sadness can feel like death. Like, I think about people who are grieving.
It's like, I don't know about you, but I have described grief as like, it's like I'm dying, you know? And like, do I know what it feels like to die? No, I don't, because I haven't done that before in a literal way. It's interesting how there's a part of us that will use that type of metaphor. So there's a discomfort in feeling and in a culture that doesn't necessarily promote feeling.
It's like there's extra discomfort around that extra discomfort around. Exploring the territory of the unknown and also those of us who have, I don't know, had an experience of an embodiment practice like yoga or dabbled in meditation, which gratefully, so many more people in the world [00:46:00] have, um, there's also this wisdom that like, Ooh, wow, there's gold in there.
You know, it's like once you. Once you break through and finally tell your parents you're quitting your job, there's an empowerment and a reclamation and a like, whoa, expansion that comes from being brave. And so it's kind of same with the body. There's a fear of entering into the body. And then a like reluctant, yes, I'm thinking of our clients are reluctant.
Okay, we're doing this. Okay, we have to. I don't know. I didn't, I didn't force them. I think a really important part of facilitating embodiment is, is really empowering your client that they can come out at any time that they're in charge, that they're not forced to do anything, you know, and that fear is often coupled with this curiosity of like, what if there is gold in there?
What if there is the answer to you? Everything I've been asking. What if there is a bit of wisdom [00:47:00] that could actually help me on my quest for the ideal environment for me to thrive or the new model of success? And those things can sometimes go hand in hand, you know, like It's kind of like in the self development world, shadow work, going into the darkest corners of your being, the ickiest parts of you, it's like you get to collect gold and courage builds on itself.
So every time we practice courage and we receive the gold for practicing courage, there's more of an oomph towards practicing courage again and growing, right? Just being alive is a courageous act being alive and growing and letting yourself change is a courageous act and choosing courageously to enter into the body is a way to receive great gems of wisdom
Selena: reminds me of the heroine's journey that you were speaking about before every time we go into [00:48:00] that our bodies there's a boon that we're We're going to receive an elixir, as you said, to break back to the ordinary world.
So, and it's so, so amazing that this
program is teaching people how to create that safety of like, it's okay, I'm going to hold your hand as you go into this. Wild world that is our internal world that we have been taught to shut off from a
Casey: very young age. Yeah, totally. Yeah. That internal safety of like, you know, someone knowing how to safely guide the other person into their body, the internal safety of just creating a safe space for that person to drop in and the safety it's created.
Through being in a group, the safety or the courage that's created through being in a group, like obviously I work with clients one on one. [00:49:00] I love my one on one clients. We have like beautiful transformational experiences together and something different happens in a group setting where everyone is being courageous.
Everyone's going into the body. Everyone is being challenged to think bigger, to grow more, to have like greater dreams, more aligned dreams, I should say. Transcribed There's something that happens in the witnessing of a collective, so I think that too is part of the, call it safety or call it courage, call it safety or call it bravery, of like, being in this process.
Yeah. Alright, so. Day three, morning, people are practicing taking each other into their bodies, mining their bodies for beautiful wisdom, um, moving closer towards their epic manifestation. And then in the afternoon on that last day, I sent Selena a text being like, this might be selfish, or it might be smart.
And I think it was [00:50:00] a bit of both, and I guess I trust... That it was, uh, useful and supportive for everyone, but basically what we did is I encouraged everyone in our group to be a collective coach for me. That's the selfish part for me. After that 10 minutes of receiving such epic transformation just through one, like.
Facilitated coaching session by one of our students. I was like, hmm, on one hand, what else could they support me with? That's the selfish part. And on the other hand, I wanted our students to have an opportunity to practice everything they've learned and to do it together. So on one hand, no, not on one hand, just what they had to do was drop into presence together.
And this is where like embodiment is supportive and tap into the energy of the collective to know [00:51:00] intuitively when it was their turn to guide, to ask a question, to pull me into my body, to get me to feel something, whatever they felt was necessary using all of the tools that they had so far to support me with like moving through the next step of my journey.
And I, as client in this instance, set the intention to like, you know what, I'm going to drop in and I'm going to receive and I'm going to be honest. Like I'm not pretending to have an issue that I want to be coached on. I'm like going in and sharing from my heart what's happening for me in my quest toward aligned environments, ideal environments for me to thrive.
So that was fun. It
Selena: was so fun. I, I just. Love watching them come together. Uh, I keep picturing it as like, [00:52:00] Dear Lister, a Power Ranger coming together. I don't know if anybody else watched Power Rangers when they were kids, but everybody coming together to work as one mega ranger or whatever they called that.
And it was beautiful to watch, like. One person opened the session, and one person dive into one thing, and then one person asked questions about this area, and then another person to jump in, and it, it was quite a beautiful thing, and then for Casey to be, um, the one receiving, I think was also empowering to, to the, the participants, because it was, like, okay, one, we're coaching the master of this program right now, Um, but also it's like, oh, yes.
And Casey is working through stuff too, like you're, it makes you real. It makes us real as, um, [00:53:00] facilitators of the program. So it's not, again, it's collapsing of that hierarchy of we're better, we're higher, and it, I think it really empowered people to be like, ah. And we did it. We transformed the master, you know,
Casey: totally.
Yeah. Yeah. There was a joke that kind of ran through the program is like, who can make Casey cry? I'm like, you guys, I cry all the time. Like, it's not good. And you're, you're great. You're doing a great job. Like. Why is that the goal? But anyway, I, I thought that was quite funny. And, you know, to your point, Selena, you know, as a, as a guide, as a leader, I have struggled to an extent like at navigating when it's appropriate to share personally.
Um, I think that there's a lot of teachings, rhetoric in my, you know, dietician training, definitely for therapists, for anyone who's holding space or is a guide, sometimes we can be taught to have this, [00:54:00] like, personal professional boundary where, like, you don't share about yourself, um, because that would be crossing some sort of boundary.
And what I've learned over time is most of the time, like I don't, I'm often in that space holding position and I'm often keeping myself out of it and just really purely like being present for what's happening for the person in front of me. And I've noticed that in the moments where I have shared a bit more vulnerably with clients or just even in a one on one session where I've been like, at the end of a session, been like, you're not alone in that.
I have those similar struggles and feelings and like actually speak from the eye. They often really thank me for it, and I'm starting to realize that sometimes, oftentimes, it's in great support of that client's experience [00:55:00] to know that they're in the presence of another human. You know, who also is working through stuff and also has feelings and also is like imperfect.
And so I, I really felt that like, it's always vulnerable for me to receive, especially from people who have paid me to support them. And, um, and it, it felt really beautiful. And I'm like, wow, as the recipient, like, let me tell you when I am dropping into being a client, I am being a client. Like, yeah, there's a part of me that can also hold the space of zoning out and witnessing what's happening and seeing where I could offer feedback at some point.
But really, I'm like dropped into my own experience in my own body. And it's so beautiful to see how others see me, or what they pick up on, and what they ask, that I really wouldn't have [00:56:00] thought of on my own, and I have a pretty deep contemplative practice, I like, I journal, I meditate, I like, I have so many practices that are introspective, and It's totally different when you're being held and guided and witnessed from the outside.
And not just from the outside, from one person, but from a number of people who are working in that, like, hive mind, collective way. So, if I may share just, like, what transpired for me from that, do you think that would be helpful? Um, so, remember, we started with an epic manifestation. Mine was to find ideal environments for me to thrive.
In the one part where I was coached by one of our students, uh, this awareness that like, oh, I'm like really secretive about my adventures and my joy because I don't want to be judged. I don't want to be seen in a certain way. And rather I want to shout from the rooftops. [00:57:00] And then, so here I am being coached by this group of people, more deeply exploring it.
And I don't remember how we got there, to be honest. I was just in it. But it was very clear to me that there was a connection between environments, physical environments, and people as environment. That part of my exploration is... Also about connection and at the depths of that, what came up was this like ongoing yearning for partnership and family that.
I weave in and out of, like, there's this yearning for partnership and family and also this desire to not have the yearning and to just live my life and be in the present moment and create as beautiful of a life as I, as I can. And the [00:58:00] questions that our students asked me and the ways in which they acknowledged and validated my feelings and reflected me back to me, like, so much happened there.
I, like, definitely choked up because I felt that I felt their love. You know, and, you know, one of the very first coaching skills that we talked about was like holding space with loving presence, and it was like to be on the receiving end of them filling a space with love. And like caring or returning this care to someone who's been part of guiding them like that really like warmed my heart and to be in this recognition of how loved I am by my people, you know, I went from this fear of being judged.
By people for my actions to realizing I am getting an experience of being loved by people and actually celebrated by people. [00:59:00] Not just the students who are coaching me, but part of the coaching was recognizing that, like my friends back home and the people in my life. And when I travel, part of it is because I love creating these like beautiful, deep connections with the strangers I meet along the way.
And I also realized that because that's such a part of my purpose, you know, being the right angle cross of the vessel of love in human design. Is that I also have this kind of like hidden fear around partnership because there's a belief that I'm going to have to let go of the love that I feel for so many people and the love that I feel on my adventures in order to have that, like it's a zero sum game rather than being able to have the both and.
And so, again, how long was that? 30 minutes that I was coached by the collective, and I was in tears, and I was in this recognition of, like, moving forward. I not only want to shout from the [01:00:00] rooftops my journey, like, in some ways I realize that it's safe for me to be vulnerable, and I don't have to wait till I have a perfect plan for my adventures, or I don't have to wait till I know that this person I'm dating is the one for me before I introduce them to my friends.
You know, I can like lean into sharing parts of the journey and being seen in it and feeling that experience of love through that process. So walking away, I'm like, Oh. I was getting these like downloads of what comes next for me in terms of my adventures or in terms of next steps for creating the ideal environments for me to thrive and alongside those downloads around physical environment.
I was also feeling downloads around like who my people are and how I want to love them and how I want to receive love from them and this like. The way I want to approach attracting a divine partnership and becoming a mother and it [01:01:00] almost just like guided me back into the love of who I am and my presence and my present moment existence and like witnessing what's already here, which I think if I were to name that from this place right now is like being in the abundance mindset.
Rather than being in lack or fear or judgment or shame, seeing the truth, the abundance, the gratitude, the what I already have and like stay tuned because I want to share what's happening next on this quest and I will share as it happens and as it unfolds. Um, but maybe I'll pause there for now. It just was really meaningful.
And if you're listening to this and you are one of the humans who are in that space, coaching me, like from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Like I am changed and I am, I am further along in my journey and I am living in my ideal environments where I thrive and I am in community with the people who help me [01:02:00] thrive.
It's like. What if it's already here? What if I'm already living the dream? Talk about collapsing timelines. You know, at the start I said, you know, what do you want in the next six months? And then sometimes when we go into the body, or we actually use these coaching skills, and the embodiment practices, and support, and a safe space, it's like, holy shit, am I really having this recognition that I, I am living in the ideal environments where I thrive?
And I'm just like receiving it in a different way. Wow. That's a collapse timeline. If I ever did see one.
Woof. Casey.
Selena: Woof. I love the story and how, um, how much your energy is just like right now. It's such a good excitement that I feel. And I just want to say like, this is why we call these, or this is why you, [01:03:00] I'm supposing, they call these epic manifestations or next level success, because it isn't. You know, you had this environment was on your mind.
Um, and it spiraled in the best way possible into like, that includes your community and that includes the people that you love and that includes, you know, your future partner and your, your future children and your, what you have right now, it includes all of that and your adventure. And I just love that you had like.
This little boost of inspiration from that 30 minutes of coaching and that 30 minutes of receiving love and being seen, I think is just so powerful. Like if we can be seen, sometimes that's all we need.
Casey: Yeah. Big time. And it's [01:04:00] like, speaking of epic and the spiral, it's like, I'm not just inspired for my next adventure and to like love up on my people and receive love from my people.
I'm also inspired to express. It's like my throat has been unlocked. Like, I didn't realize that either. That the same thing, you know, kinking me up from Sharing about my adventures is is a similar thing that's kicking me up about sharing more generously what I know how I can help people like think about that from a marketing perspective.
It's like I want to show up and share from an authentic place and even this episode. It's like we're. Opening up, I'm sharing, like, here's what our people are learning about and how amazing it is. It's like, the amount that I hold back on what I know and what we do inside of our business and how incredible our clients are and how, like, everything, [01:05:00] you know?
I think about how much I have in the past put a lid on my light. Think about that! If the core of my, the kink in my hose around adventure, Was like, how are people going to judge me as being irresponsible because I'm like doing something joyful and going on a heroines journey? Like, what else am I scared of being judged for?
That's connected to me being in delight, like, holy shit, do you see, are you following it's like, it's like, what else do I want to share about vulnerably that's in process or in the journey or how much more of my light or my beauty or my wisdom or like, how can I just pop the top off of it all and show the fuck up and like, how could that change the trajectory of our business?
How could that change how I get the MindBodyWay book in the hands of more people [01:06:00] when I'm not hiding? That's epic. It's multifaceted. It's multidimensional. And this is like coming back to that theme of like, we're integrated beings, the mind, the body, the emotional, the spiritual, it's like our goals are integrated to like a desire.
This is why it's important to follow a desire inside, like for you to create a new model for success. That's a desire that is that is implanted in you to follow. Who the hell knows The actual exponential outcome of you following that desire, like Selena, I'm not sure if you see this, but like, while you're in Komox following your bliss, you also have been working this whole time.
And not realizing or not even acknowledging that you've been working and getting paid. Like, can we just double click on that? While I'm in California in a rose garden, [01:07:00] facilitating a retreat and receiving this transformation, I'm also working and getting paid. This is work, too. And like, why do we judge that as like, Ooh, is, are we just that attached to suffering?
And things being hard? Fuck that. Yeah, oh
Selena: gosh, thank you for that, that little plug, or that little seed. Um, that's exactly Now, the last part of the retreat after we guided you into your body, um, was we came out and we all celebrated each other and we shared our epic manifestation or our next step and then just loved up on each other and celebrated each other.
Cause that's one of, another one of our skills is celebrating, um, your clients. And as I was debriefing myself, I was like, Oh my gosh, this weekend just showed me the pathway, going back to what [01:08:00] creates hope. I had that belief in myself. I was had that flexibility of like, I don't know how this is going to work out, but I'm doing it anyway.
The pathway appeared because I'm working and following my bliss. I'm working and it's useful. I'm working and I'm getting paid. And it doesn't feel like I, it's hard work, quote unquote, of. Like, I don't have to be out of alignment. I don't have to work myself to exhaustion to work and to make a living. And it's like, and you believed in yourself and the metaphorical, like trees cleared and here's the sunshine coming through.
And it's like, Oh gosh, there it is. Just had to trust a little bit. I'm thinking of your, your podcast with Chelsea and I think her it was called And The Net Appeared. There it is![01:09:00]
It's amazing that, you know, I called in this, this new model of success and here it is. I was doing it in calling it in. So it's quite, quite crazy how manifestations work like that.
Casey: Totally. Yeah. Yeah. We used a coaching skill, a question at the beginning, in the middle, at the end of the retreat. And that, that question was on a scale from one to 10, how much progress have you made toward your epic manifestation?
Right. So at the start, you know, I think with our clients or students, they were anywhere between like three to six out of 10. And like, when I hear you talk about here's the pathway for the new model of success. Like, when I hear that, it's like, yeah, 10 out of 10. It's here now. It is [01:10:00] here now. And yeah, there might be other versions of it, and or more, or evolutions of it.
Like, my ideal environments are here now. 10 out of 10, baby. Right? Yes.
Selena: Yes. I just want to ask, when you left the retreat, where were you on a scale of 1 to 10?
I was
Casey: at a 10. We're at a 10. Yeah. And, and I was at a 10 in that I had a recognition. Basically, the biggest thing that happened was I started to receive messages from my closest people about how fucking pumped they were to pick me up at the airport at midnight. And how, when I realized at the very last minute, like, Oh my gosh, I booked [01:11:00] a flight for Saturday night.
But my Airbnb guest who's staying in my condo doesn't leave till Sunday morning, where the hell am I going to stay when I get home? And like, another friend shows up and is like, crashing our couch, and also we're going to be out that night, do you want to meet us for a beer? You know? And then like, literally since I've been home, I've been having these Gorgeous, heart to hearts with my people and like fun, not just heart to hearts, like light, beautiful, fun.
And I'm sort of like, huh, wow. I used to think that when I would leave on an adventure, I'd lose all my people. They'd forget about me because I'm traveling because I'm like nine weeks in Costa Rica. And basically I just got to experience the opposite. I am loved. And what else changed almost immediately is that I'm planning another adventure, I'm planning a road trip, I am making my way back down to California because there's a box of books arriving there in a couple of days, and I'm in Calgary right now, [01:12:00] and also I literally left a suitcase at a new friend's place, uh, who was like, yeah, leave it here, that means you're coming back, you know, and I'm making plans.
And what's different is because the secrecy is no longer here, I'm sharing my plans with my people more, and I'm also inviting them in on parts of the journey. So for example, I'm picking up one of my best friends once I make my way back to the West Coast and we're going to drive back to Calgary together.
I'm inviting a friend who literally went to university in California to like, you know what, you can hop in and I can drive you there and you can visit your people and fly back. So, Where I used to just do these solo epic adventures and I started to feel like, Oh my God, I can't wait to have partnership.
Cause I want to do this with people. I'm realizing like I have partnership frigging everywhere. And you know, and also the solo time is also divine. So how can [01:13:00] I integrate and receive both that time with myself on an epic adventure and inviting friends who are my community. On to that adventure and let me add into this and still work.
There's a reason why I book all of my clients and calls on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I don't ever have calls on Fridays and Mondays, so I'm going to drive or travel or find my next place to camp between Friday and Monday, and I'm going to find a place with good Internet or maybe I have a WeWork membership again that I pop into.
You know, along the way, because that's a franchise, a chain, my membership would be like cross state, all I need is to have a sense of grounding and stability midweek so that I can show up in a calm, centered, grounded way for my clients. And then I get to adventure and this is a way that I can live because I created it and just because it's not normal doesn't mean it's not fucking awesome, you know, [01:14:00] and doesn't mean it's also going to be perfect.
There's going to be there are fears. It's scary. Every time I adventure. And when I move through that fear, I become more empowered and I get more insight. So where am I on a scale from 1 to 10? In some ways, I was at a 10 when I was done the retreat. It's like I'm at an 11. I'm at a 12. It's like I'm at a 10, 10, 10 plus as it unfolds.
I'm like a living embodiment of being in ideal environments with ideal people so that I can thrive. I feel like I'm thriving.
Selena: Love it. Yeah. And also, it might not be normal, but who wants to be normal? Normal is working out of alignment, is what it is for me. So I don't want
Casey: to be a political. Normal's so old paradigm.
Selena: Oh my gosh. Oh gosh. I love that, Paisley.
Casey: How about for you, Selena? Like... [01:15:00] Well, we'll be wrapping up shortly, and I'd just love to hear from you this, like, new model of success that includes ease, like, you had lots of descriptors around there, like, where do you think you're at on your pathway toward that, and what comes next for you?
You know,
Selena: leaving the retreat, I would have said, like, at eight, um, and now we're, how many days, three days out of the retreat now, and I feel like that, It takes a moment to integrate some of this as well, and I feel like I'm at either a nine or a ten. I mean, there's more to do to really, you know, get it going, and there are steps I need to take, but I am in my bliss, and I am working, and I am making money, and I am...
Moving forward on this pathway, and I have created this model of [01:16:00] success in many ways. So it's here, um, and there's all the steps. So it's, it's quite an interesting thing. And I'm just, like, healing all the parts. Like, with this Epic Manifestation, it's like, yeah, I can heal the parts that are saying, Oh, you have to work really hard and you have to drain yourself to, to make money and you have to do like all of those stories that were, I was taught are slowly, like every time I go into the ocean, I'm like, and so why don't we live like this?
Why don't, why don't we swim and breathe again? Why don't I do this every day? Like, why is that not normal? Um. And it can be and I believe that now and I see that pathway to that being regular and that being my mundane life and [01:17:00] that being beautiful. So I'm feeling now that I've integrated a 10 out of 10, I'm ready to go and ready to live this epic manifestation.
Casey: Let's do it together. There you have it, folks. Thank you so very much for tuning in. I'd love to leave you with a question or two or a few. The first one is, if you could have it all your way, and you didn't have to figure out the how, what epic manifestation or next level of success would you call in?
Second question, What needs to be addressed or resolved in order to get you that third question? Would you like some support? Our team is opening up free [01:18:00] 30 minute sessions for you to hop on with us and get clarity on your next level of success. Just like our participants, our students in the Let Your Body Lead facilitator training got support through their peers to clarify their big dreams, their goals, their epic manifestation, their next level of success.
Got guided using coaching skills and embodiment practices to get clear, we'd like to offer you that same experience. If you would like to take us up on that, that's me and or Selena, I invite you to book a call with either of us. Details are in the show notes, and I can't wait to connect with you soon and be part of making your dreams come true.
As always, thank you for listening to the Purpose Map Podcast. Thank you for sharing your five star rating and review. That helps us so much, and I cannot wait to see you in the next episode. Take good care.[01:19:00]
