Casey Berglund:
Kristina, do you realize how special it is to have you here to help me kick off this series of conversations? I already feel some emotion at the backs of my eyes and like, I don’t know where we’re gonna go exactly with what happens in the next hour or so, but I know it’s going to be meaningful and deep and authentic because those are the foundations upon which
Our friendship is based and yeah, it’s wild to me that in October of last year, that would be 2024. You walked in late to that, entrepreneurship conversation. The, the three women who pitched here at Juneau in the boardroom. And I just remember so clearly watching you walk in and noticing you and being like, Hmm.
And then afterward you just came up to me so quickly and I feel like we just instantly bonded and had that connection. And it means so much to me that now many months later, you get to be here with me and I get to be here with you. And you’re the perfect person to help me update the listeners of the purpose map podcast on what has unfolded in the last year and a half since I fell in love and moved to another country and put the purpose map podcast on hold for a little bit. And it’s like, it’s time to reopen this container and reopen this creation with new energy. and with stories because there are many of them. They are like where to start. Yeah. Many lessons and learnings and stories. And yes, I’m just grateful that you’re here to help me with that. So thank you for being here.
Kristina Dedikov:
Thank you for inviting me and also thank you for like kicking off this very important podcast series with me. And it means a lot to me also because you said that I was the first one you had this connection with, right? Like we clicked, as you said, the day we met, I think it was mid of October. And I also remember that I attended another event that evening from Debbie. She will also be on the podcast.
And I remember that I ran super late and I was like, phew, doesn’t even make sense to join this Juneau event. But something sat on me like, go, go, go, just go. So I went there. I sat there. Everything was in Spanish. And I mean, my Spanish is, I understand. I speak.
Casey Berglund:
Your Spanish is amazing. You somehow like mirror the accent so perfectly. So anyway, continue. But your Spanish is amazing.
Kristina Dedikov:
Thank you so much. Yes. I mean, if your listeners kind of have an idea how I can monetize that talent, you know, to fake accents, maybe I should be a comedian anyhow. So I remember like walking in the day and you were, I think, the only one who didn’t speak Spanish. And I remember that everyone was really thoughtful of that, which was super nice, you know, other Juno women. And but I also remember how it was for me when I came to Spain and I didn’t understand a word, you know, because other than some reggaeton songs that I knew by heart, I didn’t know Spanish, you know?
So I was like, okay, how does she feel? She didn’t understand maybe. So I approached her and I was like, Hey, Casey, how was it for you? Like with language, did you get the gist of what the, what the women were pitching? And you’re like, yeah. And I remember that we started to talk and we were like, keep on talking outside. there was like a, got kicked out of here. Got kicked out of here. Exactly. And then outside, I remember that Marta from Juno also like walked by like you’re still here and we’re like, yeah Here we are. And after yeah, I mean almost one year. Casey, I mean your journey was Where to start? I think that what you’ve learned in the past one and half years in Barcelona I think other people did in ten years. Yeah, I think that your journey was very intense and it’s a pleasure like for me to accompany you also on your journey and on your highs and lows and everything. And I also think that the experiences that you made here, they’re so precious. You bring a huge like treasure with you back to Canada that other people would benefit, you know, because you know how it feels to be in the situations, you know?
And I’m so excited for this podcast. So professional here. So I’m just like, woo, feels so fancy.
Casey Berglund:
Yeah, so good. Also, Kristina, you just dropped a bomb that I’m moving back to Canada.
Kristina Dedikov:
I dropped a bomb. Here I am. Sorry.
Casey Berglund:
Yes, exactly. And actually, it’s so fascinating to me how the truth and the knowing that it’s time. And of course my partner, Erik has been part of that decision as well. But the truth in knowing that my time and my season in Spain is soon to be complete and that it is aligned for us to move back to Canada. That knowing is what sparked this whole series. It was like the knowing came in and suddenly it was like, I need to honor the incredible humans that I’ve met since I’ve been here and specifically the women here at Juno who are all intelligent, heart centered, spiritual, grounded, successful, in transition, well traveled, speak multiple languages, like fascinating from different cultures and backgrounds. It’s like a hub of my people. And you know, I am going to back up the story momentarily, but like it felt so important to honor this space and honor this season and honor Barcelona and honor these women through this podcast series. And it’s amazing how when things are aligned, when they finally click into place, holy shit, does creation happen fast? You know, like we have a number of people already in the books scheduled for these recordings. They’ll be coming out weekly over the next many weeks.
And I just, listener, cannot wait for you to be introduced to these unbelievable women and be expanded by their stories. Because one thing that I know to be true is that the folks that find the Purpose Map podcast are people who are looking for deeper inner fulfillment and more aligned success. And they are humans who probably have a bit of grit to them. They’ve gone through a big life change, maybe a burnout, a breakdown, a death or a divorce or something, or maybe it’s been a gradual, you know, burn over time where they’re hitting a point where they’re like, I want to create something different with my life. I want to live from a place of deep purpose and create something that’s meaningful and maybe even change my career path. Even after studying, you know, and having a PhD or being a professional that they did a whole like set of degrees for. Sometimes we hit these points where the soul calls us into more into a deeper calling. And it’s in those moments that we get to be awakened to a whole series of lessons that take us to the next level.
I know that when I hear stories from women who, you know, are kind of like me, and I see how they’ve moved through challenges or stepped into more of who they are and become more authentic, how it’s inspiring. And it helps me to think and feel like, okay, maybe I can do that too. And I just know that you, Kristina, here today, but also when you take the stage and I like pull all of your goodness out of you in a future conversation. So you can look forward to that listener. Another conversation with Kristina where I’m pulling her genius out. You and the other women will be that expansion for the people listening. So I’m so very excited by that. And so very excited that you were my very first friend here. After, let me say, seven months of not knowing anyone or not having deep connection. You know? And I actually do want to back it up and share from the months before I met you, Kristina, because it’s a big deal to move to another country and of course, for me, there were other layers to things like my dad had passed away. I was in a new relationship. I am in a still a new relationship and we were living together and I sold my condo in my car in Calgary. I let go of everything and took a massive leap into a new reality. I think some people do that and someone listening is about to do that. And of course you should if your soul is calling you toward that.
And there are realities to those leaps as well that are, don’t know, I want to say important to know about, but I also wonder if I knew about all the little things that would happen through such a big leap, if I would have done it. And like, of course I would have, of course I would do it all over again.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. You were called to do that. Yeah. You know, and also like, because you mentioned like the first six, seven months for you, you did have connections here and like right before I was talking to Nicole, who will also be on this podcast, wonderful woman, and I shared with her that the quality of your life really is the equation of how many good relationships you have, something like this, right? Because I kind of honored the beautiful people that I have in my life, because last weekend I was out and I met so many beautiful people and I just…
I’m just so grateful for no matter what is going on in life, having your village, having your tribe, having your people is just so important. And for you, as you said, like taking the sleep of faith, changing like everything, your whole life and arriving in a country that you’re not familiar with, right? Your partner not being, you know, due to business, not being here for many days and you’re here all by yourself. It’s tough. Yeah.
It’s tough and honoring that is like, excuse me, I don’t know if you are allowed to say that in Canada, but fuck it’s tough. In Canada? In Canada.
Casey Berglund:
Because what? We’re too- In the US you’re not allowed a thing, no?
Kristina Dedikov:
Like, I think you’re not allowed to do that effort, but in Germany you are. So that’s the reason I’m just like, fuck it’s hard. Yeah, we can throw up. Just name it. Exactly, it’s hard.
Casey Berglund:
Yes, and leading up, so let me think. So March, 2024, I made the move here and there was a lot happening behind the scenes leading up to that. Like I was living on the farm with my mom for a bit of time to like help my family recover after my dad had passed. And you know, yeah, I sold all my things. I landed here. And at that point I was actually like, I just need to sit down for a bit. I wasn't in a mode of wanting to make new friends or build community yet because I kind of needed to honor my energy and rejuvenate myself.
And of course we had, and I'm going to use this word intentionally because it did feel quite magical, manifested our dream home in Barcelona with like the beautiful stone walls and a lemon tree in the background and lavender bushes. And it was like a spectacular little nature haven in Montjuic, that I didn't know existed in a city this big. And me neither. Yeah. Well, when Erik, when Erik found it, he was like, Holy shit, what is this place?
Like, what? And so of course it just all flowed because we were meant to be there. And so I landed and in the first three months, I really was living a dream. I felt like this is the most beautiful home. I do get to look out to nature. I was picking lemons on the tree almost like, my God, I can't believe I did this. But I picked all of the lemons off of the tree within the first month.
Not realizing that like they would take many months to like reproduce lemons. Like I really extracted them too fast. Cause I was so, that's so unheard of in Canada. You don't have like lemon trees, you know, or not in the prairies anyway. So I was so excited and it was a dream to feel. I remember saying when I first arrived, like, wow, I feel at home. And I did because I think of the sunshine and because of the nature around and because of this knowing inside of me that like Erik was something special and that it was worth moving to another country for that, you know? Yeah. And so that was beautiful and had its own challenges because still, you know, Erik's schedule working 17 days away, 13 days home, it did leave me alone a lot, but I, you know, was exploring this new country and walking the streets and enjoying it. And now looking back, I'm like, that was definitely the honeymoon phase. Absolutely. first three months.
Kristina Dedikov:
Absolutely. We all have that. You know, when we moved here, you know, we all have this honeymoon phase. mean, for me, it was also around three, four, five months. And then, of course, reality, you know, reality is like knocking the door. Hi. Yeah. But yeah, the first months are just like so, like, you know, like filled with curiosity with this newness in your life is beautiful, right? And especially like so different from Canada, I assume, like the culture, the nature, everything, you know? Yeah, definitely.
Casey Berglund:
And in the end of June of that year, so I guess that was last year, 2024, I went back to Canada because a friend was actually getting married in Mexico. So I went to Canada, Mexico back, was at the farm, visiting old friends in Calgary. And then when I came back after that trip home, that's when it really felt like, shit, I live here. Like this is my new home. And interestingly, clients who had been with me forever, who had been, you know, like my most sustainable long-term clients, it's like everybody was wrapping up at the same time. It's like everything in my business was kind of like naturally wrapping up in a way. It was the first time in the last decade that I didn't have a single one-on-one client and that's like super interesting. I'm like, whoa, I just expected that my business would continue kind of in the exact same way. So that happened. And I started to be like, wait a minute, I'm out of all my skincare products and I'm out of like the toothpaste I brought over. Like I need to replace these things. And I remember going to the store and being like, Oh my God, like it's, it's like so much energy and extra stress and just like discovering what kind of toothpaste you want to use? Yeah, absolutely. You know? Yeah. And then like the visas and the paperwork and luckily we, that part actually went smoother than I thought it would. And then what really set in for me probably at month four, month five was deep, deep grief in my aloneness. I realized that while I was just in a different stage of processing, yes, my dad's passing, but something I've learned about grief since that's happened is that it really is like a portal where any grief connected to like leaving friends or even selling my condo, right? There's like grief with letting go or shifting relationships. It was almost like any grief that was left unprocessed was like funneling through my body intensely all at once in a new country by myself.
Where like I didn't have any friends or community. And I trust that that was meant to be in some way. Like it was part of me really realizing how much I needed community and how much I needed support and how much I needed to not do everything alone. And I also think that those tough moments are initiating for, well, I'm gonna use this word intentionally too, like mystics or embodied leaders.
It's like you process through the body experiences and that creates a sort of wisdom that doesn't get integrated any other way through living it. Yeah, embodied and lived wisdom. Exactly. Yeah. Did you have, you know, I mentioned the toothpaste thing, but what was your moment when you first moved here where it was like, shit, like, what do I get?
Kristina Dedikov:
You know, like, yeah, I remember because the when you mentioned like the toothpaste is like, remember I had this with milk. I remember when I went to the supermarket and I was like, what is this? I just want normal milk, you know, what's the difference, you know? And then you have to translate everything. It's like, just like what normal milk I don't want to make it like such a huge process, you know? So, and of course it takes some time for you to adjust it. Of course, the first time I did not know what the milk is that I knew.
But it's like super small steps, but of course everything is new. The language is new, everything, you know, it's just like, know, and this is just the milk, you know, and then you go to the doctor, you go to the institutions, to the authorities here in Spain, no matter how beautiful Spain is, but we know how the authorities working here, know.
Casey Berglund:
Admin here is a bit of a bitch.
Kristina Dedikov:
I mean, I thought that Germany is bureaucratic, but I didn't, I, I haven't experienced the Spanish bureaucracy yet. So yes. That's like another step in the game, know, like being in that process. So, yeah, of course, you know, like this NIE and empadronamiento, which is like, yeah, you live here and everything, you know, on your health insurance that you can only get after doing all these things, but you cannot get an appointment for that. yes. It's like when reality hits, you know, after this honeymoon phase, you're like, wow, that's heavy. That's a lot. It's a lot, especially when you don't know the country and here you also find out by doing it. You arrive to that point and then it's like, oh, I have to do that. But in order to get this, I need that. But without this, I cannot get that. So you're just like, it's like a riddle. It's a riddle. It's a riddle here sometimes. But also when you manage to do that, it's like, I can survive. I'm good. I can do it. Well, and that's such a good point.
Casey Berglund:
Obviously when you move through hard things, you build confidence and empowerment. For sure. And resilience. And sometimes like, sometimes there's too many hard things at once. One of the things I thought about when reality started kicking in, and remember, we're just talking about the Spain side of things, but I also moved for a man and moved in with him. We dated long distance for six months, and then we're living together in a new country. And of course, when you're living with someone, it's like those relationship lessons come in hot. Absolutely. That's another layer. And then the business layer of things, like when you're providing for yourself and client stuff is happening. So yeah.
I just remember saying to myself, I know that there's that saying in the trauma world that anything like too much, too fast, too soon is trauma. And I remember thinking like, shit. Even though I chose all of this, was it too much, too fast, too soon for my nervous system to handle? I did feel like my nervous system was breaking a bit. Like I was like tripping out. I was like blowing a breaker inside of my electrical system. And in some ways, I think because I teach about the nervous system and teach embodiment, there was also a layer of like shame or imposter syndrome where, or, you know, I know in your interview, we'll probably talk more about the, the manifestation world and your process in the coaching industry and all of that, but that's just a teaser for the future. but like it, it's just this shame and imposter syndrome I felt for not having a nervous system strong enough or resilient enough to be able to hold all these new things. And I was like, I'm upper limiting myself. Like I have all this awareness about how basically to bring anything new into our lives, our bodies need to be able to hold it. And like my body was not holding any of it really well. You know, like I...
I was like triggered in my relationship and then realized that it was like a layer of grief underneath. then, you know, feeling just like fatigued and then, you know, I don't know, fast forward a little bit and we find out that we have mold in our home. So having like sinus headaches and chest pain and anxiety and depression and a bit of a roller coaster where it's like, there were too many things that changed at once to know what the cause of any of these symptoms are. Absolutely.
Right? Absolutely. And yet I think that this is maybe to be expected when you move somewhere new, especially when the language is different and the culture is different, that like, maybe we should normalize that it's going to like flip the breaker a bit in your nervous system.
Kristina Dedikov:
Exactly. It takes some time and that's absolutely okay. Yeah. Right? I mean, you also like changed like everything. Yes. And it's, it's a lot to hold. And I think everyone who wants to make these big life changes... Because I mean, for me, was also like my soul pulled me here. Yes. Did it make sense to come to Barcelona? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But it was like something inside of me that pulled me here. And of course, like this is like a change of everything. The environment, the language, the work. mean, I changed like corporate job for to come here. Everything is new and it takes some time for your nervous system to land because I mean, you're the nervous system teacher. You know, like it takes some time to kind of integrate that and our nervous system is not here to expand and to follow our dreams. just wants to be cozy and safe and taken care of and fed. Exactly. It just wants to sit in the same corner all day. just like I'm safe there. I don't give a shit. Sorry. I can say that. I don't give like a shit about your expansive ideas in life that you want to experience. Like I don't give a f***. I want you to stay here and be safe, girl next to your parents. know, exactly. That's what you're going to say.
Casey Berglund:
Even though they're going to trigger the shit out of you. At least you know those triggers.
Kristina Dedikov:
Exactly. You don't care. know? Yeah. So, and that's the reason why it's okay. And it's normal that it's a bumpy road in the first place, right? And she's like, it's okay.
Casey Berglund:
And you know, this actually brings me to the moment I stepped into Juno because like when you're all alone, and you're processing these things and you're in your head and in your own experience too much. And like you go to the grocery store and they're speaking like another language and you can't even have like, I don't know, I'm pretty good at like dropping into authentic vulnerable chat if I need to with like a stranger. But like when there's a language barrier, it's hard. And so I just remember like the minute that I started to meet women here, let me slow this down.
I went for a facial with this amazing Argentinian woman named Ago. And I was kind of falling apart at that point with like, I don't know anyone, shit's hard. She's like, yeah, you know, I hear you. She obviously moved from another country as well. And she was like, have you ever heard of this place called Juno House Club? And I was like, no, tell me more. And she's like, well, it's like a women's club. It's for professional women. It's really beautiful. It's a great space. It's kind of got this and that and the other thing. And she's like, I think you'd really like it.
And so I checked it out online and my jaw dropped and I'm like, what? This place has been here this whole time. And the next day I walked in, I literally walked in the doors and I looked around and I started to cry because the space was full of women working on their computers. was, you know, greeted at the door, probably by Marta and one of the other women that was working here at the time. And I knew instantly because of the, the decor, the design, the energy I felt in my body, the the women I saw in the room, I knew like, holy shit, these are my people. These are like my fucking people. And I just remember it was like a full moon or it was eclipse season actually. And I had my period and I walked in and I was so raw at this point that I said something to Marta like, I know I'm crying right now, but like it's been an emotional time. It's like PMS and the eclipse.
And she was like, honey, I hear you. Like, this is like every woman that's come into this space. And suddenly I was like, wait a minute, these women like pay attention to the moon and talk about their periods. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like reassuring, know, like, you're, this is your tribe. It's a women's space. Yeah. then it was like, as soon as I started to meet people like you...
Kristina Dedikov:
...was the night we met?
Casey Berglund:
No, the next, well, no, I did a tour and then I think it was like, within that week or something that I, was a Friday I remember. It was a Friday when that, yes. But that was my very first day like actually being here. Right. Yeah. And, and I'd had a couple little conversations with some of the other women here that day. And I just remember feeling like, my God, why is nobody, why did nobody tell me about this? Why did nobody tell me that everything I was experiencing from being in a new country was completely normal. Like women would be like, so wait, how long have you been here? And I'm like, seven months. And they're like, yeah, that first year is rough. You know? And I'm like, huh? I just expected to step into a dream life and I don't know what I was thinking. But there was something about sisterhood and sharing with other women who have done what you've done where there's this, I just get it, you know? And then suddenly you're instantly validated and you can release any of the judgment or the shame or the guilt.
That you're kind of struggling.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yeah. I mean, because you went through a really tough time and on top you were shaming yourself.
Casey Berglund:
I was. Exactly. So it's just like, you know, I have all the tools. I teach this. Why is my body struggling so much? I teach this stuff. And because I felt so much contraction in my body, don't get me wrong. There are big moments of expansion too, but like literally I have a Ted talk called let your body lead. And I was kind of like, what's the message here? Like, was this the right move?
And yet underneath it, was like, yeah, you're supposed to be here.
Kristina Dedikov:
I mean, in the end, Casey, you are a human. Yeah. You're a human and you also need to be held by someone. Right? I mean, you do this for your clients, for the people, your friends, whatever. But in that like transitional period, you also need someone to hold you. Right? You're gonna do this by yourself. So of course you need your village. Of course. And that's fine. It's okay. Naturally. That's natural. Exactly. Yes.
Casey Berglund:
I mean, that is one of the biggest lessons and experiences that I have learned and will take with me every fucking place I go is the absolute importance of friendship, especially female friendship. Like Erik was like, poor guy. He had to be in the role of my... my boyfriend, my guide, my like best girlfriend, my, you know, like he was playing all the roles and like archetypes was connecting one person. I knew I was aware like this is not sustainable. Like Erik cannot be everything to me. But when I started to like connect with good girlfriends, it was like, we just need that. And it is fundamental. And to what you said earlier, it's like the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. There's, think one of the longest, I need to look this up, but I think it's a Harvard study about the most important predictor of quality and quantity of life is community and relationships and friendships.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yes, it is. So this, is the thing. Yeah, absolutely. And this is what I like the double-edged sword about Barcelona is cities like it's meanwhile, but too loud for me and I'm craving nature. I'm craving like a bit of silence, but on the other hand, like the beautiful people that I have here, I'm just like, you know, I cannot, you know? So it's just like, in one place.
Casey Berglund:
And Kristina, you are a curator of beautiful people. Like, you're gonna hear in this podcast series from multiple people who are directly connected to Kristina, that Kristina directly introduced me to. So like, you are so generous with your introductions and your relationships and connecting people and attracting really good people. So thank you for being that person that was like, yeah, let me open the door to the community that I've built. Like you've built this community and then you sort of let me step into that too, which I appreciate so much.
Kristina Dedikov:
I'm like a social Spider with my cob web. Once you're in that web, you cannot escape. I'm going to get you. No, it's true. I love that. But it's a cool, it's a cool Spidey cob web. It's not a, I'm not going to suck you out.
Casey Berglund:
Yeah. And it's like, let's just like double down here. I just remember that, well, at Christmas time when Debbie and you and I went out to eat and we were having a conversation about, I just remember so clearly that it was illuminated in that conversation that each of us experienced like a lot of bullying when we were younger and like, separation, cattiness, maybe like bullying from other girls.
And it occurred to me that that specific trauma is the thing that makes each of us and the people we attract like so warm and inclusive. And like there's enough space for all of us to be friends and to love each other and to help each other and to support each other.
Kristina Dedikov:
That's so true. Because I mean, on the one hand is like this, this pain, you know, inside of us, or at least of me, that it kind of makes sure that everyone feels included.
On the other hand, it's so beautiful, you know, just to make sure that everyone, and I know how you felt. And that's the cool thing actually about Barcelona, that people are inclusive. Because most of the people that I know, they came one time and they were the new ones. And you know, they know the struggles and the pain they went through. So everyone is like more or less open to integrate you into the community, which is super beautiful about Barcelona. It's true. You know, so I just like did the same that people did to me. Yeah. In the end. Yeah.
Casey Berglund:
And even the women, who are local, the Catalan women who are part of Juno House, something I've observed about the local women specifically in this community is that they have traveled the world. They've left and returned and they've experienced, at least in conversations I've had, this like, I don't totally fit here with the people who stayed. And I think because Juno attracts like a worldly bunch, the local women have this obvious connection to the environment here in the culture. And also a beauty to them in their inclusivity and like they too have gone through that return. To return home. Absolutely. I that.
So I guess in the journey, our dream home was full of mold. I joined Juno was still like, fried in my nervous system, a bit sick, took a last minute trip home to Canada. And this is, I didn't realize it was a mold thing until I landed in Canada and I stepped outside and I took a deep breath and I was like, air, like I could breathe. And it was the first moment that my appreciation of Canada that I'd always, you know, I'd always lived there. I'd always, you know how you have to like leave to appreciate what you have. And I was like the air and it was getting cold and you know, by Christmas that year obviously was winter in the snow and I was like, my God, the snow, it's so beautiful. And this is another thing that I think is such a beautiful gift and lesson of moving to another country is like appreciating those beautiful parts of that country and then appreciating your home country in a different way because you have the contrast.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yes, absolutely. Yeah. You need to leave a space in order to appreciate it. If you've never left, I encourage you to leave. Exactly. You better leave home.
Casey Berglund:
Well, and actually, you know, one of my energy mentors from, well, for many years, she was a mentor. always said to me, it's the ones that leave who come home bearing gifts. She was speaking about the family system, the family structure. And you know, I, I, she had known that like all of my families in Saskatchewan and I, at the time I had that story of feeling like a bit like a black sheep, like I, I'm the one that leaves. I'm the one that travels. Even though I grew up on this farm in this tiny little town and, she helped me to see like, that's your sort of role in the family system. Like the ones who stay don't have access to certain gifts or awarenesses or consciousness to bring back to the family for familial healing.
And I think that that's beautiful. And it doesn't just apply to a family system. It applies to a community. Like I know going back to Canada and I know I'm going to have a desire to connect in person more with like clients that I've worked with or to create events again and like have the capacity to hug people and touch people because in a world of like digital and tech expansion and AI and like all of these things are beautiful in many ways.
But like to be able to sit with someone in person and hug them and hold them is just like the greatest gift.
Kristina Dedikov:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It's amazing really. And something that also came to my mind, with what you say, what you were saying about like appreciation and just like moving and, know, experiencing other cultures, people, et cetera, et cetera. You learn so much like from that. And I, like, I had a phone call with my mother last week and I said to her, yeah, I'm going to meet.
Casey in this line, she's from Canada and another was from UK and from South Africa, from there. She's like, wow, your friends are from the whole world. I was like, yeah, I love that. How amazing is that? It's so amazing. You know, like we bring like the whole world into like one place and we share so many things that, I mean, I've never been to the other side of the world, you know, like to New Zealand or Australia or I've never been to Canada and just to know and understand the culture.
About the nature, is quite similar to Bavaria.
Casey Berglund:
We discovered this. I showed Kristina pictures of Banff National Park and I'm like, look at how beautiful it is. And she's like, let me show you pictures of Bavaria. And they were like the same. I'm like, damn, we have like the same nature. We have the same nature. It's like, wow, it looks like Canada.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yeah. So and just like, you know, having these people from different backgrounds, it's amazing. That's like the curiosity of life, you know, just to kind of get other people's ideas about like culture, about the way of living, the way of thinking. It's so different and I just love it. It's so enriching. And this is something you could have not experienced by just staying in one place, know, maybe not to that extent as you've done by moving to Spain.
Casey Berglund:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And it's just so true. I'm just like smiling to myself because I love what you shared about your mom being like, what? You have friends from like all over the world. I talked to my mom recently too, and she's coming to visit here and you'll actually hear from her on this season, which I think is going to be so special. but she said to me before we were planning this trip, she, she was like, I just, you can't just be living in Spain for a chunk of time. And then I miss an opportunity to come to Spain. And I'm like, I know mom, have to come because like, I might not be here forever. And this is such an opportunity. And she said to me like, yeah, I want to see your big life. And it even like brings me to tears just like declaring that because I definitely like many people who are sensitive and paths, maybe the healers of the family, the ones who are listening to this podcast have sometimes felt like the black sheep, like I don't feel seen or like, don't know. It's like, I just really, all you want is that affirmation and validation from your family. You know? And in that moment I was like, my mama sees me, she sees me and I'm so proud of her cause she is flying across an ocean for the very first time in her life.
Kristina Dedikov:
Wow. Yeah. Look at her. Yeah.
Casey Berglund:
And it'll be empowering for her alone, right? Alone. And there's something that is so beautiful in that she gets to experience a piece of me and the traveler in me through me facilitating her making a solo journey to another country. Absolutely. So it's so cool. It's going to be amazing. Yeah.
Yeah. And the other thing that this conversation about community and being in another place brings up, and you know, we were talking about how similar the nature of Banff and Bavaria are, is the importance of environment. Something that I'm really coming to hone inside of myself that I, I was learning this lesson before I moved, but I've like really learned more about it is just like how important your environment is... to how you feel and what you do or create or don't create in the world. Like even moving from the house in Montjuic, which of course we had to get out of that house because there was mold and we were homeless for six months jumping around from place to place. And then finally landed in Poblenou. But anyway, you know, there was all that, but there I had connection to nature more. And my nervous system did feel more relaxed until the environment literally started poisoning us.
And then in a flat in like a busier part of the city where there is that that noise, you can you can kind of feel this elevated fight flight energy that just underlies all things, you know, and I just took a solo trip out to the Pyrenees mountains and it was like my nervous system just like calmed right down and I started to get creative downloads and it's just amazing to me this recognition how I personally I think every human is but I personally, I'm so sensitive to my environment and I get to choose how I set up my environment, where I am, what my home is like, who the people are around me so that it can contribute to my life and contribute to how I want to feel.
Kristina Dedikov:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And I remember last week you also said that, you know, by just being in nature and just be surrounded by crickets and what, what was the other thing that you were.
Casey Berglund:
Did I tell you about the wild boars out there too? anyway, crickets, birds, wind in the trees.
Kristina Dedikov:
Exactly, crickets, birds. That was the only thing you were hearing, right? And it's just so powerful because I know this also from Bavaria and every time I'm home, I'm craving to go to the forest because the silence in the forest is just like, it's like from, I don't know, it's magical, really. like the nervous system, how it calms down just by changing the environment. And as you said, the downloads come, the intuitive ideas, the creativity, know, like everything comes back by you just being in another environment. So so powerful.
Casey Berglund:
And, what goes away, what I've noticed is, uh, insecurity, self doubt, et cetera. Like prior to moving here, I spent in 2023, nine weeks in Costa Rica and I had the same experience. was actually not in a well traveled place in the middle of the jungle. And it was like creative. Like I just felt so calm, like my nervous system could just hold so much. And then I remember when I came back to Calgary, I woke up the next day and I looked in the mirror and my head was just like full of insecure thoughts. And it was almost like I just stepped into a different consciousness because I did, you know, like the consciousness in a city that as a sensitive person, we're both projectors by human design, which makes us more sensitive. It impacts our experience. I had the exact same experience coming back from the Pyrenees where I was like, I know who I am and what I'm doing and what my mission is and what my purpose is. I got that clarity in four days in nature. And I came back and yesterday I went down a rabbit hole again about like, I keeping my grey hair? Am I dyeing my hair? Like, what should I wear? It was like all these sort of like thoughts that, yes, let's adorn ourselves and express our beauty, but it was coming from an insecure place. You know? And so I just think that that's so interesting.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yeah, it's definitely the environment.
And I also, like, as you said, I really feel like my body is like, get me out of here. Get for one and a half years. And I sense that. But of course, right now, the live situation doesn't allow me to do it like permanently, but it's important to listen to your body. Literally. Like, so for the listeners, like whatever you feel in your body, really listen to that. It really knows what is good for you. I think even if I, I mean, staying here, enjoying the benefits of a big city.
And combining this with small trips, know, this Thursday, for example, I'm going to travel to the Dolomites, no? Yeah. Yes, it's also a very quiet place. And after that, we go into Germany for some days. So I'm trying to kind of integrate these like, I don't know, small mini trips outside, you know, to get back into balance again in the big city. then, of course, here after two, three days, it's just like, oh my God.
It's very noisy, it's very loud.
Casey Berglund:
And like I said, for someone who is like, like sensitive, think. But I don't think that that's something you can totally pick up on when you're visiting or traveling. Like Barcelona is an amazing place to travel to and it is a great place to live. I know for me it, it like will, it would never actually be a safe, secure, like nesting place. A place to like grow a family in. Long-term, yeah. Yeah. Because, because of the way that the noise and the insecurity and how some things are done impacts my nervous system, you know? And Erik's as well. So of course we're, doing this life together and so making choices related to that, but it is good for the lessons and the activations and the initiations.
Kristina Dedikov:
Absolutely. And I mean, you need to make this experience in order to know what you don't want. Yeah. Right. You've been there. It's like, okay, I know that I experienced that and I exactly know what I have to do.
Casey Berglund:
Yeah. Because of that. Yeah. And again, like we've named and spoken to some of these important lessons, like community and like environment. And when I think about how, you know, after having these initiations connected to the home and like literally not having a consistent, secure, safe place to live until, you know, April of this year, 2025, we've got our flat in Poblenou.
And it's been like a relief for sure. But then there's still been like things that have been interesting in the building where it's like, my God, we're being pushed out again. And so by the time this awareness came to me, like it came through heavy contraction, like from feeling like trapped and feeling stuck and feeling tight in my body that like, maybe it is time for us to go back to Canada and you know, Erik receiving that and feeling like relieved and like, he's been wanting that too. Basically that decision after like trying to figure out the signs and the guideposts and toggling back and forth and wondering like, why aren't things flowing? You know, why is the universe punishing me? That's what it feels like sometimes this decision that that's the right move. What it's done for me is it's like opened up space in my presence and reality now and here. And it's just been so amazing how much deeper I've been able to go with people in my world here in Barcelona and how, yeah, again, the creativity, I've just felt creatively blocked, like I couldn't podcast until now. And now we're doing it. And I think that when I talk about letting your body lead, it's hard sometimes because sometimes we're here to stay with the contraction and like really feel that and learn lessons from it and stay. And other times it's like the contraction you feel is telling you to go, like there's something else.
And only you and your intuition, if you learn to dial it over time, can tell the difference. But that is only a process that I think is earned through lived experience and through not trusting your intuition or having these moments.
I know you've had these moments and I have too of like, what the fuck universe? I thought I was following my body and like, it's not working out in the way that I want it to. Like how do we live this aligned life?
Kristina Dedikov:
Yeah, actually that's the question that I wanted to ask you. Because you said that you felt like you were running against the wall, like, or like the flight crashing against the glass all the time and like felt like it was a punishment. Like what the hell? I'm following my nudges. I'm doing this here. What is the lesson? Why do you do this to me? And I remember that it was last year in December.
You said that you don't want to stay here for too long. It's like max one year. So you already somehow knew. said that to you? Yes. We had a coffee in Lady Babka. Oh, yes, I remember. Yes. And you said to me that you maybe want to like, like Eric and you wanted to leave maybe end of next year, October, November. I remember you said that. did say that. I have chills. Yes, exactly. So that's the reason why you already knew. Yes. You already knew, but maybe it wasn't like your consciousness, you know, just didn't grab it.
Casey Berglund:
I've said this before on this podcast, that same energy mentor, her name is Melinda, and she is so wise. She taught me that consciousness is always ahead. Meaning like, even if I like I forgot that I told you that. Yeah. But that is consciousness being ahead, having that nudge, throwing those dates around. And then here I am, like I have a flight booked home for October. That's another little truth bomb, right? And even when I was home in January in Canada and sort of stayed there for a couple of months because we didn't have a place to live. And I was staying at my mom's place and then at a friend's place. There were like big challenges there. Like I thought, if I can't do this, if I can't live in Spain, if I can't handle Erik's work schedule, like...
does that mean that we're gonna break up and I'm gonna, like, where am I gonna go? Like, I sold the place that was mine and, you know, my business has had some ups and downs and like, what am I gonna do? Am I losing my business, my boyfriend, and I don't have a home? Like, it was kind of like a, and then the shame on top of that. I'm 36 years old and I'm here, what the fuck? You know? And then luckily I also have community and village and good friends back in Canada and many of them helped me through that transition.
They also asked me like, Casey, do you want to go back to Barcelona? like it doesn't really feel like it's working very well. And I said to them, I am not done. am not done. And I don't even know what will help me know that I'm done, but I know that I'll know when it's time. And I said to them, I need to go back for at least six to eight months, like maybe October or something. And then I forgot I said that. Yes. You know, October.
I did. Yes.
Kristina Dedikov:
It was like this reason why you said October, November, something like this, but you said that. Yeah. You said that you already, like there was already the expression you were vocal about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Casey Berglund:
And so like to your question about an aligned life, like this is something that I teach. And so of course there's like lessons on it over and over and over again. And I think it's hard to trust that you are on your path, that you are living an aligned life when all the shit comes in, when it feels hard, when you do feel like you're pushing on a closed door.
And what I come back to over and over and over again is this meta knowing, this really high level knowing that all of those plot twists are part of the alignment. All of them, because you may not be aware in the exact moment that they're happening what the lesson is, but you're always aware connecting the dots looking backwards. And since I decided to like, it's time for us to go back to Canada, it's amazing how fast dots have connected where it's like, I wasn't being punished. I was learning what home meant to me. I was learning that what matters in life are your fucking humans. I was learning how to drop my ego about like having it all together and being humbled. I was learning humility. I was learning how to connect with empathy and compassion to other people, both in their pain and in their bliss.
Like this experience has been full range. Yeah, there's been things that haven't worked out, but also like, I don't know, Erik and I have traveled to Sweden. I found out where my dad's lineage is from and I've been on the land there. I have gotten to go to our friend's wedding in Italy. We've traveled. I'm going to go visit my friend, Jeannie in Ireland before I leave here. Like Erik and I have gotten closer and more connected. We've probably worked through more shit in our relationship in the last year than people do in 10, 20, their whole lifetime.
And it's like, I know at the end of the day, that man is showing up for me. When I thought he was gonna run away because I was having like a bit of a rock bottom, he showed the fuck up. You know? Yeah, these are those moments, these moments.
Kristina Dedikov:
And something when you were talking about like what it was about this lesson, like something that came to me and through me was, I think your lesson was also about self-love. Loving yourself despite... like the 3D world. Yes. You know, like loving yourself, even though your business had these ups and downs, loving yourself despite, you know, like not having friends, love yourself, know, like loving yourself despite no matter what.
Casey Berglund:
Well, of course. And you know, I thought I was pretty masterful at the self love game. And let me tell you, I have never experienced so much insecurity, so much self doubt, so much shame, so much guilt, so much of my shadows, so much pain, so much grief as I have in the last year and a half. And it's like that shit comes up to the surface to be looked at and held. And you know, I have learned to like hold that for myself and access like sometimes just a little bit of acceptance and sometimes a little bit more compassion and sometimes a little bit more love. And when I think about it, I know, and I've known since I was 25 that my true purpose underneath it all is unconditional love. And so if I'm gonna be, my, what's it called? Incarnation cross in human design is the right angle cross of the vessel of love. If I'm here on the planet to be the embodiment of love, then like, of course I'm gonna get shown the pain that needs healing to come into wholeness, to come into love, to come into that high consciousness. That's what I get initiated with. So it all makes sense when you go meta enough. And sometimes I wish that we could, just drop some of the judgment. When we're already hurting, can we not hurt ourselves more by judging ourselves and free ourselves to just like be. And you know what? Be with people in that, because that always helps.
Kristina Dedikov:
Absolutely. And beautiful, like really beautifully summarized, like not judging yourself, because I think that's what is putting the pressure on top, know, like shame and judging yourself because normally you're 30, you're mid 30, you should, you know, you should have figured out. Life is just working. Look at you, you know, like how did you end up in this mess, cold life, you know, like what the hell, you know? So it's like, yeah, there's a lot of like judgment and shame around that. You should know better, but maybe this is exactly what you needed. You know, like you wanted to be a flower. It's like, okay, I'm gonna give you water, you know, like life, Universe, God, whoever, know, Spirit is like, okay, you want to grow a flower? I'm going to give you rain. I'm going to give you water. I'm going to give it all to you so you can grow. Yeah, exactly.
Casey Berglund:
Yeah. Some fertilizer, some shit. Yeah, but enough fertilizers. Please give me the sun. We're ready for the sun. Yes. So as we come to a close, I'm curious if there's anything left unsaid for now, um, that ties into what we've been talking about that would really just close this up or bring it home.
Kristina Dedikov:
Yeah. I have something because I remember we were talking and you said, Kristina, I have no idea. have this up and then goes down, goes up and goes down and have this up and again down. What is this? And it, I think it kept you busy for weeks. And I remember it was a weekend. said to me, Kristina, Erik and I, made this decision to kind of move back to Canada and from that point on, you changed. There was something in you that, I don't know, that changed completely. And I felt that was the right decision.
You know, it was like for me, since then you're like another person. I see you way more aligned, way more calm about this decision. you know, I think it's beautiful. And it's such a beautiful closure of this, don't know, roller coaster of life because...
It's been like this, you know? It's been a ride. It's been a ride and I have the feeling that we were like ahhhh! This like the whole time, you know? So and it's a beautiful closure and even the roller coaster has very spooky parts so it's fun sometimes, you know? And I'm very happy that I was with you on this roller coaster. Yeah, we did a lot of that together. We did a lot of this together and yeah.
Maybe it ends here, but a new chapter will open.
Casey Berglund:
Thank you for seeing me so clearly and so deeply, like for witnessing that part. And it's not lost on me how much I appreciate like closing things. And especially when you build deep friendships with people and then you're like, sorry, I'm leaving. You know, it's like, there's a bitter sweetness to that. And I...
It's such evidence of the depth of friendship that I've co-created here and you've co-created with me in particular for the truth to be the thing that is honored. Yeah, like we're gonna cry and we're gonna hug and we're gonna like let go and then we're gonna visit each other and like all those things.
Kristina Dedikov:
You better build a cabin for me in the woods because I'm not gonna let you go girl.
Casey Berglund:
Let me tell you, we're gonna build the homiest home, the most beautiful place with many extra beds and bunk beds for the children. it's like, is the greatest gift is to know that with all this disruption, like boy, home is gonna feel so fucking good. Good, absolutely. Hell yes, mic dropped.
